Would I Be Wrong to Leave the Family Behind?

Hey all, going through some decision making processes and figured I should get a few second opinions:

Since my 2nd or 3rd year of high school, I've long since decided I was going to damn near completely cut myself off from my family as soon as adulthood hits. There are a lot of lurking variables as to why that would take incredibly long to explain, but the main thing that gets to me about them is their extreme homophobia. They are incredibly prejudiced against all things LGBT, yet they don't know I'm homoromantic (I consider myself bisexual when it comes to physical attraction, but I know romance for me is a lot more likely to happen with a male than a female, and any scenario in which I end up with a man would not please them). I've managed to hide it well from pretty much everyone I've wanted to hide it from; no one in the household knows about my orientation or that I've had boyfriends. I was not financially independent and did not look forward to what could happen if I came out. I put up with it for pretty much all of my childhood, but it (combined with the other family aspects I didn't name but bothered me still) took me through a very deep depression that put me in a very dark place still lingers to this day. I don't like admitting this over the anonymity of the internet, but I was indeed suicidal because of it.

Fast forward to now and I'm in college. I'm MUCH happier now. I'm out, I'm doing well, I'm on a full scholarship so paying for school is not a problem, and though I'm not currently employed I am pretty sure I would have no major issue finding a job, as I have managed to get a job before when I really wanted to. So I think I'm in a good position to start the abandonment process now. the only thing that's stopping me is the absolute guilt. Even though I know it would be much better for my mental/emotional health to move on, I'm still close to my mother regardless of our struggles, and I know it would absolutely destroy her to find out I was gay. She's extremely homophobic and constantly raves on and on about me having a future wife and grandkids (especially since I'm the only child). I've stopped myself from coming out lots of times by guilt tripping myself, but honestly, I get less and less afraid of losing her as time goes on. I considered just completely dissociating myself with no reasoning given, but I know that would not be fair. It is really getting to me though: every time I visit or talk to them on the phone, I notice I sound very passive aggressive, and I'm sure they notice it too. It's so weird: I obviously have some sort of love for them because of upbringing and familiarity and all that, but I'm at the point where I can probably admit to either hating them (which is a big thing for me to say, as hate is a strong word for me) or at least a holding a very spiteful indifference to them.

I'm really stressing over this and it's kinda putting a damper on my newfound happiness, which, after much though, I've come to realize I should not risk for them. Should I just come out and make the separation easier for us all? Is it fair for me to even separate like this? Is now even the right time to make that separation? Advice is greatly appreciated.