I usually don't come here to ask about advice with relationships but I might as well for this one. The hardest emotional issues often become much clearer when you see them through the lenses of strangers. I am torn between a guy and a girl. I have started talking to a guy who messaged me through a mutual friend when I came out on Facebook. We have been talking for about a week and I have stalked him enough on FB to think he is attractive. He is interested as far as I can tell. He has sent hearts, asked for D pics (I said no, of course) and called me attractive a few times but he hasn't actually been that flirty otherwise. I have not met him in person. The girl I have known forever and have had a crush on for the last two years and I finally have an opportunity coming up to ask her out. We text constantly but don't spend that much time in person. Oh, and she is my ex... So not a crush as much as a I didn't really stop liking her. So to be honest I kind of came up with a pro and con list for trying to date the guy. Sorry, it is my personality type Pros: seems interested, I can be with a guy for the first time ever (an experience I have really been wanting), he is cute/attractive (He is 6'5"!! I feel like that is almost too tall?!), he is out to his parents, and he has been with guys before so he has experience. Cons: he lives 40 minutes away, he is a terrible texter so I haven't been able to actually get to know him/he doesn't make much of an effort to engage in text conversations, I wouldn't be able to date the girl (again), he is experienced (that is kind of scary), and he is super busy with sports (as am I). This kind of makes it look like it is not worth the effort but I think he might be a really sweet guy if I met him and gave him a chance. So after coming up with this I realized there are two questions I should answer that might point me in the right direction: How real is his interest? I think it is pretty genuine but I think I want to meet him first to get a better gauge on it. Which leads me to my second question, if I do meet him, is that showing too much interest on my part? As in, would that be leading on too much if I decided I didn't want to be with him? I am sure there are more questions I should be asking to figure this out so any input is appreciated. Usually I can go with my gut on decisions like this but I am really, truly torn here. Thanks for reading my wall of text. You are all wonderful for trying to help.
Hey man, I think you should see the guy and see how you both feel. Honesty is key when relationships are concerned, so be honest with him and say what you feel. If I had not been honest, I would still be in a relationship that was not really existing. If the guy has sent d pics then that is saying he is only after one thing, but most guys you chat too through the net are like that. So, maybe meet up and talk properly. Again, if you are interested in him, which I doubt you can clearly know yet, then you hould tell him, and the same vice versa. Good luck and hopefully this helps.
What do you want? I like term DTR (define this relationship), and the earlier you do it, the fewer problems you will have. If you just want the experience of being with a guy, then he seems like a good choice. If you want something more long term, then you also need to make that clear.
I think that is a good term, DTR. I have never heard it before. I want the experience of being with a guy I think. He seems to like me so this could be a good opportunity to do so. I think I will meet him to get to know him. I still don't want to lead him on though... It just kind of clicked on my head tbh. I want the experience of a being with a guy sexually, for real, but I don't think I really want to date this guy. Maybe that would happen but who knows. So, I am concerned about leading him on because I kinda just want to subconsciously hookup with him instead of actually date him. Which in theory means I actually want to date the girl again. But who knows. Bottom line, I will meet him and see how it goes and then move from there. Now I think meeting him would be the easier part, making sure it wasn't awkward might be a little harder because we have both said some stuff over text...........
