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how to explain concept of 'bi' to a friend??

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by kaminari, Oct 20, 2014.

  1. kaminari

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    One of my friends thinks you can't be 'bi' and if you are... Then you're confused. Apparently you're ONLY straight or gay. Not that she has a problem with that (I don't intend to tell her about my sexuality) I'm just worried that my other friend (crush!!) Feels the same way.

    Is this impossible to do? What if my crush thinks I'm only confused? (The crush thing is in another thread I created):confused:
     
  2. jay777

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    There are people who like potatoes.
    There are people who like spinach.
    And there are people who like potatoes and spinach. Some even to various degrees, they like the one more than the other. (Replace with any food you see fit :slight_smile: )
     
    #2 jay777, Oct 20, 2014
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2014
  3. bicomplicated

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    Yeah explaining bi to straight and sometimes even gay friends is challenging. Sometimes they just don't fully get it. It just like blows their mind. I would just let your friend know your stance. Tell your friend that you do in fact believe that people can be attracted to more than one gender. Get research to back you up! Tell her attraction is so different for people that some people might be attracted to different aspects of different people of different genders. Not all bi women are secretely experimenting straight women; and not all bi men are secretely gay. Horrible misconception. :frowning2: It's so hard to explain how to explain bi. Just whever the topic comes up, encourage your friend to ask more questions about the subject and voice your views on the subject and educate your friend.
     
  4. kaminari

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    She's kind of stubborn lol. :slight_smile:
    So there are some people that like strawberries and some people that like chocolate. But a few people like to dip their strawberries into their chocolates because they like both? Was that right?
     
  5. jay777

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    Not quite... having both chocolate and strawberries together would mean loving two people at the same time...

    you want to explain preferences...
    some people cannot relate...
    so you might give an analogy to something they know.
    Everyone has a preference in food. And its a real preference, they know what they like, and they dislike some food. But for some people its different, and that is perfectly ok. So they can relate. But if you pick two foods everybody is likely to prefer its not a very good analogy...
    What food do you like, and what do you know some people dislike ? So not everybody likes it ?
    Potatoes... and asparagus... for example...
     
    #5 jay777, Oct 21, 2014
    Last edited: Oct 21, 2014
  6. kaminari

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    So... Chocolate and potatoes? :slight_smile:
     
  7. Pipihpipih

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    Sigh…

    I been tried couple of times
    Hang out with some guys (male friend)
    and you know what… I think I'm pure les.

    I tried so hard to be able to get the feel into men, somehow I just can't!
    i think I'm pure les.

    i can't even be a Bi!
     
  8. Rosalynn

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    "See this person standing in front of you? This person is bi."
     
  9. PurpleGrey

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    The majority of well-known orientations fall under the frogurt machine metaphor. You have chocolate on one side and strawberry on the other, because screw vanilla. Some will get nothing but one flavor, some like to alternate or decide when they get there, some honestly don't care what they get, some occasionally pull the middle lever for the swirl option, some only ever pull the middle lever, and finally, some are lactose intolerant.

    I find this a lot better than the pie vs cake metaphor.

    Urgh... now I'm seriously craving a baked potato with all the fixings...
     
  10. jay777

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    :wink:

    (*hug*)
    Try it any way you like...
    I would go for potatoes and asparagus... because not all people like asparagus, or potatoes... so she might better relate...

    There is also the cake and pie analogy...

    or the analogy PurpleGrey mentioned... :slight_smile:
     
    #10 jay777, Oct 22, 2014
    Last edited: Oct 22, 2014
  11. Ammi

    Ammi Guest

    Say there is black, with and gray colours.
    And that colours have diferente shades (like you can be a 50/50 bi or a 60/40 bi)
     
  12. Kaiser

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    Some folks like Rock, but hate Rap.
    Some like Rap, but hate Rock.
    Some like, both, Rock and Rap.

    And, of course, for those who like both, they can prefer one to the other, despite liking to listen to both types.

    The point is, they're both music. But not everybody is going to enjoy, every type of music available.
     
  13. flatlander48

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    All it means is that the physicality of a person is less, or somewhat less, of a consideration compared to the personality. The thing is, if love is truly a mental construct based on similarities, compatibilities, chemistry, etc., I think the physical part only matters if we want it to.