I've always had a little bit of trouble with my emotions, because I normally get very attached to characters in books, webseries etc. But a lot people in my class, some of them my friends, have tormented me for about 8-9 years now, and I really am going to lose it. The stuff they do may seem like nothing serious, but after so many years of it, the SLIGHTEST thing sets me raging like a hurricane. For example, if someone keeps on poking me, I immediately stare at them, already plotting how I'm going to smack them, but still they do it, and then I lose it and just straight up hit them. Now sometimes the teachers realise what's happening and either move them to a different seat, or simply glare at them, which will usually stop them for a few minutes, before they start trying again, but more subtly, so it is like a thought nagging at the back of my mind. And that happens every day, multiple times, for usually five days a week. I keep on trying to stay calm, and be more "zen", but it is impossible! And now it's not just anger that I can't control, as reading stories and the such causes me to become very emotional and depressed, VERY easily. I'm just wondering if you guys know of any way I could try to regain control, because I'm afraid that I may never be emotionally stable. :help:
Have you talked to a counselor, especially one trained in mental health? You might be exhibiting symptoms of bipolar disorder, which is a treatable condition.
Train yourself to deal with "feeling down" from reading/watching stuff, by reading and watching more stuff. May i suggest, stuff by Abe Miyuki, that there is quality tear jerking material! As for the kids at school, next time hit harder, so you can get your point across loud and clear. Violence is not the answer, in most cases. But since you're already violent towards them, at least do it properly.