OK so after about a 2 week (roughly) hiatus from each other--we work together & she's battled pneumonia & came back to work today--we finally were face to face again. We talked a little but not much. She was telling me about her seeing her ex girlfriend & her daughter (she's very close to) last night at the girl's ball game. She said she and her ex got to air out the reason behind their split and that she told her she would always be here for her even if she wanted to come back. So she is obviously still in love with her and I don't think she'll ever want to try anything with me. I mean I don't know for sure but that's just my guess. So...I still really want to be friends with her and hang out and shoot pool, go to bars, etc like we used to but now I don't know how to ask her without it coming across as let's go on a date. What do I do?
"Hey. Let's go shoot some pool again. I need to do something fun and relaxing, don't you? How about Thursday night? I've got a coupon." (See? Not a date night, traditionally).
We've never shot together before. She's always said we should go do it but every time she's mentioned it she always turns around and acts distant and shuts me out for a few days. Then I never know how to bring it back up without it seeming awkward. Now we have gone to a karaoke lounge before with 2 of her friends but never together
You could always just say that you need a relaxing night with a friend to unwind, ask her if she wants to have a movie night or come round and plan some board games or something. Staying at home and hanging out together like that might make it feel more relaxed and less formal as well, also she is probably still recovering from being sick, so she might not be up for anything too extreme anyway.
She actually shoots pool every Monday night with a few friends cause they're in this little league together & I thought about casually asking if they had room for one more cause I use a night out to relax if she didn't mind but I didn't know how that would sound especially since it just seems like she doesn't want anything to do with me right now for some reason.
Hmmm. If you can stand it, you might want to leave it for a week (or so). See if she initiates the conversation.
