What do u think might happen to me Im an orphan. Since i was a kid i never see my parents They both passed away (my mom when I was 8 months old and my Dad when I was 3yo) I grew up at the orphanage from 4-15yrs old. I dont feel happy back then. In fact, I feel like I lost my childhood memories where most people are happy with. Now after 30+ my age. All my siblings are married and make their own family. We are not really close one another. Im 4 out of 4 the youngest. Once I talked to my elder sis I said hey sis I couldnt sleep. Can I stay at your place for tonight? And u know what she said, I told u, find ur real partner as soon as u can. In indo, lgbt is so 'cursed' they are so conventional and tabboo to stuff like that. My older sis in chicago she can understand my situation. But not my elder sis who lives in the same city. I feel so sad when she said that. I know this is the challenge that I have to deal with. There are still many. I have to figure out what would I become when I get old... Im affraid of being alone for the rest of my life. Why couldnt I be just like my other siblings to make their own fam. Sometimes I pondered. Its so hard become lez in my place now. I dont wanna be alone when I get old. I really missed and I never call anyone "mom" or "dad" Makes me sad everytime I see a warm family gather or some friends with their childrens. -sad- I need some HUGS :-( Feel like crying everytime I tell the story of my life.
~big hugs~ I am sorry to read about your situation. I know the feeling of being lonely and wanting what other family members have. I hope you are able to find that one day, just know you aren't alone and we are all here for you.
*even MORE hugs* Don't worry, Pip. I'm sure that you'll find the one for you someday, and that your life will get better before you know it! Just as Blossom said, remember that in the mean time, everyone here on EC is there for you! *extra hugs*
More hugs! Are you involved with any LGBT groups or organisations? Some of them really have a way of becoming a surrogate family.
I really hope one day I will!!!! That really bothering my mind Im a little scared everytime I think that I might be alone til I get old... No mom n dad hurts me alot already. Leave such a huge pain that nothing can replaced with.. ---------- Post added 28th Oct 2014 at 04:59 AM ---------- -deep breathe- makes me wanna cry... Thanks for encourage me ---------- Post added 28th Oct 2014 at 05:04 AM ---------- So Far no, Im all alone. When I was younger yeah I hungout with community. But they were really not give me a good or positive value in my life. So I left and pull back from lez community. Just me and my girlfriend. I thought straight people was nice. Apparently I was wrong about it. I feel like trapped in here. Like nobody was made for me. Most of female I date with they just want somefun. (Materialistic I might say..) I wanna find someone who truthful and love me from what I am and accept my weakness...
I don't have much to add, I just wanted you to know we all support you here, and you're not alone! (*hug*)(*hug*)
Thankz for caring. Wish we lived closer... ---------- Post added 28th Oct 2014 at 05:16 AM ---------- ... Thanks. I cant help myself I have to pretend to be strong so there's no one could harm me and let them think I am really tough. They will never know the truth. :icon_sad: