I have a Major crush on my best friend

I have never really been the greatest at making friends, frankly because the few I've made had been shitty. This being said, most of my friends are online. People i have met through, this may sound dumb, gaming. I use to play a lot of xbox, mainly games like Call of Duty. I ended getting a great group of friends on there that i have been friends with for a year or so now. We talk everyday outside of xbox, we all exchanged numbers and have each other added on Facebook.

One of these people would the best friend in which i am talking about. Instantly we hit it off, liked all the same things. Acted similar etc. We talk a lot to each other privately outside of our group through texting, Skype and whatever. One night we were talking and he had to admit something to me, he admitted to me that he was Bi and that he left his previous friend group because it was causing major issues. And he said that he wanted to tell me because he though i should i know but he didn't want me to tell anyone else because he wasn't sure how our other friends would react. This prompted me to tell him that i was actually Bi too and that he was the first person i have ever told. We talked about our stories(like how we realized we were, etc.)

After a few week, we continue to talk regularly as we do. He asked me if it would ever be possible to meet up in real life, i said Of course". We decided to meet this summer and still plan to at a convention in Baltimore, he is going to the convention, i am mainly tagging along just to meet him After a few weeks, he then told me that he likes me more than a friend and he needed to tell me before we meet so i wanted to change my mind about meeting him. I then admitted to him that, i liked him as well. And couldn't wait to meet him. Everything was great after that. We still chatted everyday but it felt a little more intimate, like things were actually going somewhere.

He always asks my opinion about things and i always talk him up, telling him how great he is and what not, he of course denies and talks me up. Multiple times, we've messaged each other things about holding each other all night when we meet, sleeping in the same bed, etc. After about a month or so, it kind of died down still happens some but nearly as much.

He still wants to meet and do all the things we discussed, its just that now with school and all he is hanging with his friend on weekends and what not. which its not like i expected him to not do that. i just miss him, talking to him and skyping with him. I get this feeling in my gut when i haven't talked to him in while or when he is out with friends cause i miss him so much. I know it might be obsessive but at the same time, I've never felt this way for anyone before. I'm not really sure if im asking for advice or just spilling my guts out. But if you have any comments please leave them.

 

I feel like someone like him shouldn't like someone like, event though he says he does. I'm scared to meet him in person cause i don't wanna mess things up.

 

I just worry, because he is always hooking up with people where he lives. Generally girls and like he says he wants a LTR but he isn't making any efforts for that now really with them or me. So i'd hate to get there, and just be like a little 3 day fling and then be done cause i actually reeeaaalllyy like him. Like he is the first guy, that I'd be okay with being with and coming out to everyone i know with.

P. S. His last relationship ended due to long distance they were only living an hour away, but neither of them could drive. should I be worried?

 

now, it just hit me a message asking if it would be possible forehand to live with me for two or so weeks prior to the trip and then taking a plane from where I live to the convention. Why does he know exactly what makes me weak

 

Yea, like he wants to come to Texas and hang out then go to the convention. Isn't that a good thing?

 

Ahh, i get what you are saying. I wasn't thinking of it like that, i mean i don't think anything would go wrong but i suppose it would be best to just play it safe

 

Yeah, i get you guys. I really appreciate the advice, when it comes to thinking of him. I get all irrational and bubbly brained xD

 

Thanks i get what you mean, hopefully it does go well.

@USxUK
Ill keep you guys up to date if anything changes, but as of right now i guess it's all good haha

 

Hmmm, well unfortunately it might be canceled. I was talking to him last night and something seemed off. He has been having a crummy week so far, he recently found out his parents are in a bit of debt, so they are making him(only him, not any of his siblings neither the old one or the younger) pay rent as well as buy his own food. He also is attending school, which he has to pay for anything for that like books, etc. Luckily, he has a job, though he really can only work on the weekends, which doesn't supply the most cash. Now to get back on track.

Basically he said that he is unsure if he will be able to go to the Convention at all, cause he would of course have to pay for that too. And right now he has zero money. The convention is not until the beginning of August so he would have all summer to get money, but this would be something we would have to plan for ahead of time like hotel, and plane tickets. so he doesn't want to say he can go then last minute back nor does wanna say there is no chance is going, and give up.
So last night, he was bummed and after i finally got it out of him. he was apoligizing non-stop and i told him. That is wasn't a big deal and he needs to focus on himself because that is the most important thing, i'd rather him have money to live off of then worry about trying to make it to a convention/meet me.

I am kind of bummed though, i was really looking forward to it. Hopefully something works out or we can meet somewhere else :/

 

Im trying to think of something that we could meet at? or someplace to go to, that wouldn't be expensive for him or myself. Problem being he lives in Wisconsin and i live in Texas. Its hard to find a good middle ground haha