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To be honest...I don't really like them anymore...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by WearyWanderer, Oct 26, 2014.

  1. WearyWanderer

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    (This is more of a rant than anything, I just need to get this off my chest. I would like to hear some of your thoughts on this topic though, and all comments will be greatly appreciated :slight_smile:.)

    This year, I have two pretty close guy friends that I hang out with. We don't really talk about deep stuff, but we can make each other laugh, which is awesome. I'm very happy around them. I used to have a crush on one of them, but now I don't. Now I just see them as good friends, and the one that I used to have a crush on I consider my best friend. Aside from them, I also have a few other girl friends, and I'm amicable enough with most everybody else. I don't talk a whole lot, but it's not like I'm disliked. Even if I am by some people, I don't care. For the first time in a while, I feel content. Despite some stress from looking at colleges and keeping my grades up, I'd say that I'm actually pretty pleased with my life right now. I don't let my emotions get to me, which is a good thing (not to say I ignore them...letting them get to me and ignoring them are two different things. I'll get to that later). So overall, I'm in a good place this year.

    BUT...there is one thing. Last year I had two pretty good friends whom I've made a couple topics about on here. For those who don't know, they are one girl and one guy, and they've been dating for a while. They both know about my sexuality. I used to be really close to them, but now I'm trying to distance myself from them. Why? Because I'm beginning to find their relationship creepy.

    The main thing that's been getting me is...well...the guy is a Satanist. Now, I don't believe in a God nor the Devil, but even I find it kind of disturbing. I used to not see it as a big deal, but the more I thought about it the more I realized that I didn't want to hang around with someone who follows the beliefs of the embodiment of evil, regardless of if he exists or not. Now, he doesn't sacrifice animals or anything, and I think he's mainly a Satanist from like heavy metal/punk rock bands, but still...I just find it unsettling. A couple weeks ago he wanted his girlfriend, who was one of my best friends last year, to sow the symbol of a satanic cross onto his jacket. And she wanted too! She was once a nice, if uptight, Christian girl, but now she thinks her boyfriend's satanic things are "cute" and they draw pentagrams in the shape of hearts on each other's arms. I'm not sure if she herself is a Satanist, but she does seem to influenced by it.

    Now, I have no problem with him being Satanists and I'm sorry if I offend anyone on this site who might be a Satanist, I respect your right to practice your religious beliefs, but...I just don't want to be close friends with someone who is a Satanist. Everything they would believe in would go against my own morals. Again, really sorry if I offend anyone on this.

    I could also go into how their relationship has become SUPER creepy, and how the guy is always clingy with her and at the end of every class together they have to have a super long hug that makes the rest of us uncomfortable, and they're always touching each other, and he always comes by her locker at the end of most classes even though his locker is on the other side of the school...

    Now, I know what you all are thinking. Probably something along the lines of "Gee, you seem to be picking out every single tick they have that you don't like. You're probably overreacting." Well, yeah, I know. I am overreacting. Honestly, what they do is their business. But...I just don't like them as friends anymore.

    I realized that last year I was miserable. And you know who made me feel miserable? I realize now they did. Obviously not intentionally, but all they did was wallow in their own stress and sadness. And I did this as well. I felt like I needed their friendship for emotional support, and I became reliant on them. They had their own problems too. The guy did cut himself at one point, and the girl flipped a shit over every single thing without giving a thought to anyone else. They tried to teach me not to hide from my emotions, which is important I guess. But they weren't doing anything about their emotions. They just stayed in that emotional state constantly. I wouldn't be surprised if they were still in it now, with all that stress and anger and sadness. Me, I make it productive, so I can move forward. I recognize my emotions that are there, but I strive to find practical solutions instead of letting it overwhelm me, so I can move on from those emotions and not let them get to me. It truly is a better way to live. And I wasn't living it when I was friends with them.

    Of course, I am sad to lose two close friends. But I don't think they were healthy for me. And I just don't feel the same way I felt about them before.

    So, I don't want to be friends with them anymore. I've tried to distance myself, but I haven't actually told them anything about this. I'm not sure I should actually tell them that I need space away from them, and I don't want to hurt them. Despite everything I've just said, they're good people, and they don't deserve that. So I'm torn on how I should approach dumping them as friends. Part of me feels like it would be rude if I just distance myself and not say anything at all, but it would be equally rude if I say something.

    TL;DR: I had these really close friends whom I don't like anymore. I don't like them as friends, and want to kill the relationship I had with them. But I don't know how. Any thoughts?
    Also, if anyone has been in a similar situation where they've felt like they wanted to leave a friend, what have you done?
    Thanks!
     
  2. OnTheHighway

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    First, given all of your respective ages, can it be that they are just trying to be anti-establishment given where they are in their lives? Particularly if their efforts are focused solely on music and symbolic art? (You did say they are not doing any sacrificial type stuff)

    Second, regardless of my questions, is itonly appropriate for you to surround yourself with people,that you respect and have common interests in? If so, and you have a sufficient social circle, why not just focus on your other friends?
     
    #2 OnTheHighway, Oct 26, 2014
    Last edited: Oct 26, 2014