I got angry at my boyfriend...possibly ex.

I have been going out with my boyfriend for about a month. It is 3 weeks and some days actually. We have been hanging out a lot and he is a wonderful guy in person. A few days ago, he told me he loved me and I reciprocated.

The only problem is, he is not much of a chatter online or over the phone. That is why I want to hang out with him so much in person. I understand people are different online and off.

The straw that broke the camels back was yesterday when I drove close to his place 40 miles away when we made plans a few days prior to have dinner with my friends. This dinner was supposed to be about him meeting my friends for the first time. I told him at 3pm that I was going and since my phone doesn't have text, that he call me when he's ready to be picked up. He says he is busy doing housework and will see if he can go. I tell him I'll wait for him to call me. I call back an hour waiting and no answer. I get a call 2 hours after that saying that it looks like he has too much to do and cannot go. I got so angry, I drove back and e-mailed him a few e-mails that showed I was angry, but I didn't use any cuss words or anything. I told him that I was not angry that he didn't go, but I was angry that we made plans prior and if he knew he wasn't going, to call me a bit earlier. This was compounded by the fact that he cancelled on me 2 times prior for different dates at the very last minute after confirming he was able to go with me. I said in the e-mail that every time we make plans I am afraid that he will cancel last minute like he did before.

And also, in my anger, I also said that I feel he doesn't care about me because I am always the initiator. I talk to him first and made plans with him first. He doesn't actually suggest we hang out or talk very much online as I said. He has never asked me to go out with him. I always have to bring up when the next time we go out on a date will be. So I let everything spill out. As I said before, IN PERSON he is a wonderful guy to hang out with.

It has been a day and I did not get a reply to my e-mails I sent. Seeing that, I sent a Facebook message apologizing for my outburst and that this was something that needed to be discussed in person, so I would like to meet up today to talk about it since I am distraught over this. We never fought before, and all mediums of contact went unanswered even though he saw my messages... I e-mailed him one time, Facebook messaged him and left him a voice mail.

I am just so sad because he is a perfect guy otherwise and if we stop seeing each other over this... This can't be the way it ends. My sister told me to stop contacting him since I messaged him a lot already and she says it's going overboard. I think if he was going to break up with me, he would have told me to stop messaging him? I would just like to hear opinions on what I should do from this point on... I sincerely appreciate everyone taking the time to read this... I am just feeling so bad right now and I don't want to lose him over this.

 

Thank you for your reply! I never thought about that reply before so I forgot to mention that he did meet my friends for dinner a week prior. This is just the same group with the addition of one new person, so I do not believe it's nerves as he told me he really likes them.

But thank you so much. I will hold back... but the thing is that Halloween is coming up and it would be our first holiday together. So I am not sure how long to let him cool off... I already said he rarely reaches out first, so I am afraid if I let him cool off at his own pace, that he would never message me back.

I know there is a lot of things I'm leaving out because it's already a wall of text, so thank you for taking the time to read this.

 

Wow shinji. I didn't post everything and you got exactly what my sister said right on the dot lol. She told me I was being too overbearing and clingy. That does make sense. The only time he made plans was a week ago when he said he wanted me to meet his friends at the Halloween party. Since that is this week, I really don't want to miss my first holiday with him, but then again, I don't want to appear too needy, so I don't know how long I should leave him alone for. I guess I am messaging him a lot because I just want to know if he is breaking up with me or not. Him not answering is making me anxious and if he just broke up with me, then I can move on with my life. If you get what I'm saying. Thank you so much for your input with this!

Thank you so much rob for your thought out reply!! I didn't think I would get a lot of replies to this and these really, really helped me with things. I know there are a lot of things going on that I'm not posting and it can be hard to give advice just based on my perspective... He did say I love you to me first and it was completely out of the blue. I said it back after. He said it when we were walking down a field together and he had his head on my shoulder. My sister said the same thing, that we are moving too fast, but it felt right. He is a great guy in person. He asks questions, he continues conversations. And he would almost always initiate holding hands and kisses. But online, he only says a few words and RARELY types out sentences/paragraphs. Also, I have to check in on him or initiate a conversation online and that really frustrates me. That is why I try to see him in person more often.

I am much better today, but yesterday I was a mess. I was just waiting all day for him to call me back and I still got nothing from him. I thought I wasn't being too overbearing and clingy, but it seems that everyone agrees on that so I will definitely back off and really think about how I am doing things. I super appreciate this.