So this is my situation. My boyfriend and I have been going out for about 5 years now. I found out that he likes to wear women's lingerie. Now that isn't a big deal to me. We've been opening up about sex, talking about it, talking about experimenting, stuff like that. Now he told me he wanted to suck D. We are trying new things so I'm trying to be opened minded and supportive in things that he wants to try. We really have explored what I might want to do, I haven't really thought about it either. But I recently found out that he did suck some guys D. And after he had that experience he's was wondering about anal sex from a man, giving or receiving. Now okay fine whatever you want to try it, and your going after it, but I feel left out I guess you can say. He went out and sucked D, then told me and now he's thinking about this, and doesn't want me there until he feels more comfortable in the situation. But what about me? I know it might sound selfish, but I don't know if I should go about just let him do this or try to talk to him about how I feel. I honestly don't want to make it all about me, but I do have random thoughts running through my head. Like what if he likes it to much and leaves me for a man, or what if he does like it and doesn't want me to join. Or if he likes it and has another life that I wouldn't know about. There's things I worry about. And I don't know how to bring it up to talk to him cause I don't want him to either get mad that I have these thoughts or whatever. Please can anyone give me some insight into this or have experience dealing with this situation.
Hi there, This is very far from anything I am familiar with so please take my advice with a grain of salt. I noticed your orientation is straight but curious and I would suggest that your boyfriend is going through something very similar. I think these thoughts are well beyond that of a weird sexual fetish for a straight guy and bordering onto exploring feelings of bisexuality or homosexuality. I do not really know the dynamics of your relationship, n'or your comfort level with each other but after 5 years, I would think an open line of communication regarding your feelings is likely the way to go here. Talk about what each of you is feeling and what you both want. While it is great you are supportive of him trying new things, I think these are borderline inappropriate actions for someone in a committed long-term relationship and think you need to be honest with each other about your sex-life and how you are both interpreting your time together. The fact that he doesn't want you there, to me, is a bit of red flag given this is supposed to be opening up your sex-life together. It seems more like he is getting permission to cheat on you. I am sorry if this isn't exactly what you want to hear, and I may be way off here, so hopefully others throw their input in as well. Perhaps those with more experience with this type of stuff. I would not go as far as to start accusing him of stuff, but rather make sure you keep talking about what your wants are before this turns into a pattern neither of you can go back on.
Yeah, he sounds like kind of a jerk for having oral sex with someone else (no matter what gender) without your knowledge and then having the gall to say he was uncomfortable with you being there. Maybe that's because he feels guilty! I think you should think deep down about what you really want in this relationship. There's a term I like: DTR (define this relationship), basically where you and he first think about what you want in this relationship, how you propose to get to those goals, and then compare the two. That's something you should do ASAP. Do not be afraid of making him angry or upset. If I were in your position, I would be more upset about the cheating than the potential my partner may have bisexual feelings.
