1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Ex tried to kiss me - do I tell my current girlfriend?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by justinf, Oct 27, 2014.

  1. justinf

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2012
    Messages:
    1,212
    Likes Received:
    42
    Location:
    Amsterdam
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I'm in a dilemma and I need some advice. Always feel lucky to have EC when I'm in need of advice!

    So, I have a girlfriend. However, last week, my ex boyfriend kissed me. I didn't kiss him back. I didn't really move, actually. After like two seconds I stopped him and said "I can't do this."

    My question is: do I tell my girlfriend about this?

    I don't want to, because we already have so many arguments about the amount of time I spend with my ex (he's also my roommate and best friend) and I think if I tell her, she'll just start worrying over nothing. Plus, nothing really happened, anyway.

    On the other hand, if I don't tell her now and she somehow finds out later that I kept this from her, that would probably not be a very good situation, either. She might think I didn't tell her because I had something to hide. Right?

    Ugh. I just know if I tell her she's gonna make this a way bigger deal than it really is.

    I don't know.
    What do you guys think I should do?

    Thanks.
     
  2. resu

    Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2013
    Messages:
    4,968
    Likes Received:
    395
    Location:
    Oklahoma City
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    You made this thread for a reason. I think you recognize something did happen, and your girlfriend might already be picking up on this. Are her feelings of insecurity justified?
     
  3. justinf

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2012
    Messages:
    1,212
    Likes Received:
    42
    Location:
    Amsterdam
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I don't know if I recognize something did happen; it's more that I feel like others might think it did. And her feelings of insecurity are definitely not justified.
     
  4. Worlock

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2014
    Messages:
    36
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Indiana
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I say yes. Absolutely tell her. I think the more honest a relationship is, the healthier it is.

    Your reasoning for not wanting to bring it up speaks to possible other issues in the relationship that may need to be addressed at some point. My suggestion would be to sit down, be frank with her about what happened, and then maybe talk to her about your concerns involving her emotional reactions and insecurity. There may be deeper, underlying reasons for these things.

    Hope this helps!
     
    #4 Worlock, Oct 28, 2014
    Last edited: Oct 28, 2014
  5. Blossom85

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2014
    Messages:
    1,377
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New South Wales, Australia
    I know it's a hard thing to tell her about, but I agree with the others in I do believe that a relationship should be open and honest, so I think sitting her down and talking about it with her and then reassuring her that you don't have feelings for him anymore and that it is her that you want to be with.
     
  6. zygnomic

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 11, 2014
    Messages:
    170
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Texas
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    It might be hard to do, but yes tell her. It'll be best coming from you rather than finding out another way. The longer you don't tell, the harder it'll be and the more mad she will be if she finds out.