Boyfriend slept with men Hello everyone , I'm new here, just logging on for some advice, I have a wonderful boyfriend, older than I am , he has never married but always been in relationships with women, he is a very sexual being , and a recent break up ... ( secretiveness and distance) led me to ask for a very cool but honest talk , as I couldn't work out where we were sometimes , and my female instinct led me to calling him out on some stuff. He is a gentleman , so chic and intelligent , very generous and always sexual , always has a hard on LOL ! I think of myself as an open minded person , many gay friends etc ... But when it comes to myself , am I that open minded ? My beau admitted that in his past he has done a lot of stuff , orgies , etc ... But during our recent breakup he called an old aquaintance , a man , and met with him a couple of times for sex . I suppose I am afraid that he is going to declare that he is gay at last , although he says he really isn't gay , just has always had fantasies about men and women , he watches girl and hetero porn etc , I love him and he is very in love with me , I am just finding it hard to get past this very recent revelation, I want to resume my sex life with him , but these images of him with anman have turned me off , so basically sleeping with my knickers on LOl !! What to think ? What to do ? Thanks for any feedback JaneF
LOL, it's hard to assume since there are many trans/bi folk here, so you never know if they mean mental gender or biological sex.
you said it he is a very sexual guy the type who whenever he gets horny would do anything for someone to please him you can't change that and also he must be bi he told you that he like men and women then he is bisexual and also nothing you can do about that again ^__^ god im not helpful at all you just need to accept that guy and if he really loves you he wouldn't go with any other guy and if you really love him you need to learn to accept him as he is but just know one thing bisexual people can love too and if he really falled in love with you and decided to stay with you only he would not turn his eyes to look at any other woman or any other man
Hi Queen , thanks for your reply , I am afraid that my whole point is that 'loving ' someone and sexual urge is NOT the same thing ... Otherwise this forum would be less filled don.t you think ? I have had some insight , and read great threads , it does seem that the all consumong sexual urge especially male , is something maybe as a woman we can.t relate to . I tend to put 'love and Loyalty first ' and the man I love is enough for me sexually , so I am trying to understand and accept that he is different , and that his urges are uncontrollable for him in th moment he will jeaopardize the relationship , thats the way it is . Now I just have to decide if I can cope with a future like that? Right now I.m scared of being alone , and scared of losing a person I love, but ultimately it is destroying my peace of mind . Good luck to you and thanks again. JF
I'm not sure if I understand the situation. Are you worried that he's going to have sex with men or anyone outside your relationship? It's impossible for me to say with absolute certainty because sexual orientation is a personal matter, but it sounds like he might be bisexual. Bisexuality is not a license to cheat. If he wants an open relationship and you're okay with that, then you should discuss that. But it's fine to not be okay with an open relationship. I'm bisexual and I have a girlfriend. Just because I'm also attracted to men does not mean that I need to have sex with them.
hi Aspen , thanks for your reply , as you are a woman I think you are more inclined to be able to commit to a relationship , your point is an accurate one , my boyfriend has cheated before with women and I kind of forgave that ,,it was his ex and he was having moments of doubt etc ... Now I understand more about him and we are being more honest , it seems he.s the sex addict type , can.t resist flirting and philandering , Men are now also a threat , of course I want an exclusive relationship and at times he has said he doesn.t want to lose what we have etc ... But I may need to admit to myself that its just an unhealthy relationship .... So hard to let go though, I thought I could compromise , but not sure I want to anymore , sad .
Your boyfriend could be bisexual you know , why would you be scared he's gay, women aren't the only gender that can be bisexual men can be too .:rolle:. What do you do ?,accept your boyfriend's sexuality and just let him know you don't want him cheating on you . I'm pretty sure if you were bi he wouldn't be worried ,and would have supported you every step of the way .
It kinda does sound like an unhealthy relationship. Not the fact that he wants to be with men (or is it just one man?) But the fact that he went behind your back. That is not cool! It's hard for me to forgive cheating. Idk do you really want to go through that, always wondering if he is cheating or not? ---------- Post added 9th Nov 2014 at 05:31 PM ---------- Oh also, you said women are more inclined to commit? That's not true. Men can commit as much as women. It's just what type of guy you are dealing with. Not all men are noncommital. My guy is very much a one woman man. I'm the one who has a gf.... but we have rules and boundaries.... it's complicated. But don't make the excuse "it's because he is a man" that is no exuse.
He finally gave me the " I.m gay now " he.s 54 years old , BITCH , don.t waste any womans time ''' go be gay come out already , but dont go telling me I am THE one and waste my time I really resent this situation , f@&€@ùng be gay if you like but do not yell me I am the ONE and my pus€&&y is the most beautiful you have ever seen , bitch wasted 2 years of ly life .... Oh sniff sniiff so hard to be GAY , guess what it is hard to be a woman also fù@&€ing Bit)@ch !!! Wasting my life !!!!!!!!!
