Who and what should I choose? So I MIGHT be falling for a girl and well as being in deep love for a guy already. I don't want to fall in love with the girl though. I find it wrong in a way - I want to be in love with the guy. It feels much better and more natural to be in love with the guy/a guy. I don't know how to describe it; I guess I just really want to choose him over her and be gay. Any tips?
Sounds like your heart has already chosen... In my experience, if you choose something that doesn't feel natural to you, happiness long term would be difficult.
Re: Who and what should I choose? Hmm, sounds like a tricky situation to be in! It sounds like you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself to be "gay". I think you should take the pressure of yourself by not worrying about choosing between boys and girls. Don't worry about the "Am I gay?" question for now and just think about you feel about both of these people. What do they mean to you? Can you picture yourself with either of them? You might find it helps you think a little clearer. My initial instinct tells me that if it doesn't feel "natural" to be with this girl, then maybe you feel uncomfortable about it. I don't think that anyone should start a relationship feeling uncomfortable. The question is, does your discomfort come from the fact you're not sure how you feel about her- or simply the fact that she's a girl? I'm sorry, I know it's confusing - if I could give you all the answers, I would!
Hey Glenn The discomfort comes from both reasons you stated. They both mean quite a lot to me; I don't think either of them is 'more important' than the other. I can imagine myself with the guy, but not with the girl. I have no sexual attraction to her, but I fantasize about the guy a lot (sexually and romantically). I only have a bit of romantic feelings towards her. I feel like I love the guy much more though. I care about him and care for him much more than I do with the girl. There's this electricity I feel whenever I think of him or see him or whenever we look at each other. He makes me feel complete. He feels right. What I just described applies to the girl, but in lesser quantities (is that the right word?) - she doesn't feel right. Even though it sounds like my heart has decided, the thing with the girl really bothers me.
It sounds to me like if you can't picture yourself with this girl, and if you don't feel sexually attracted to her, she's probably not right for you. :icon_wink But I think you guessed that! I don't think you should be freaked out about your feelings about this girl, though. Perhaps you have a very, very close friendship that's confused with a romantic one. Perhaps not. I know it would be easier if we could say "Nope, that's it - I'm 100% gay with no feelings for any girls whatsoever!":lol: but sometimes that isn't the case. There's nothing wrong with that. Don't let it worry you! My personal advice: follow the electricity. :icon_wink
