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VERY URGENT- Boyfriend's parents don't want him to have relationships

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by EpicConfusion, Oct 30, 2014.

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  1. EpicConfusion

    EpicConfusion
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    Ok so I'm kind of freaking out right now... I'v been talking a lot with this really amazing guy who goes to another school in my area, and we really like each other so we went out to coffee yesterday and we had a lot of fun. Here's the problem... He told me that his Dad and Step Mom (Who he lives with) are not really OK with him being gay, and have expressly said that he may never have a boyfriend.

    We were going to hangout today because he had a breakfast with his swim team, and he said he could ditch it and walk over to a school nearby and I could meet him there and we were going to drive somewhere and take a walk in the woods. I talked to my parents and they said I shouldn't go today because they're really concerned that if he gets caught that he will be in really big trouble and that we wouldn't be able to see each other at all. EVER. I'm also really worried because he's just so kind, sweet, and caring and it would kill me if we couldn't be together. He's 15 and I am 17, and I especially don't want to seem like I'm being a bad influence or taking advantage of him if his parents were to find out. His Mom is totally fine with him being gay, but she lives in another state far away and he only visits her for 6 weeks a year. He said he's had short-term boyfriends before, and that he's never gotten caught but I'm just really nervous about it because I don't want us to suffer :/

    What should I do? What options do I have? I really hope we don't have to stop seeing each other. He can come hangout at the Teen Center where I go, which is good, definitely better than nothing, but it's just not the same because we can't really be alone. He said he was going to talk to his Mom about it, and I'm hoping that maybe his Mom may be able to convince his Dad to let us date. I'm freaking out and I'm so worried I can barely do anything right now. Any help or input is much appreciated.
     
    #1 EpicConfusion, Oct 30, 2014
  2. bornthiswaybby

    bornthiswaybby
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    I would say, start off by hanging at the public center and see where it goes from there. He's 15, so he won't have as much freedom as you might with who you date. Homophobic parents are difficult. I'd say that he would likely have to keep it secret for quite a while, and then maybe after 6 months or so, he could say "look, I've been dating this boy for this long now. I really like him, and as much as I want to make you happy, my own happiness is important to me. I hope you can be happy for me too" and see where it goes. Maybe he could visit your house? I don't know the situation entirely. With my last boyfriend, he never came to my house because of my dad. I always went to his. My dad didn't find out until we broke up pretty much. I'm sorry this is difficult, I know you want to date him. If things don't work out, it'll be tough for a bit but just keep your head up and remember that you can be happy alone for now, just stay positive (*hug*):kiss: goodluck :slight_smile:
     
    #2 bornthiswaybby, Oct 30, 2014
  3. cumberbatched

    cumberbatched
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    I would say his mom talking to his dad about it is a good thing, but maybe she should just say "a boy" instead of your name because if the dad reacts badly then you may not have any chance of hanging out again, whereas if you were anonymous at that point he could just say it was another friend and that way you guys could still see each other.
     
    #3 cumberbatched, Oct 30, 2014
  4. EpicConfusion

    EpicConfusion
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    Thanks for your help guys. About his Mom talking to his Dad, I think it would be better to not even mention any person individually at all because then his Dad would probably guess that he's been seeing someone. We might just have to stay in a mostly long distance relationship until he's older like bornthisway said. I'm worried sick about it and I just wish we could be together and be happy :/
     
    #4 EpicConfusion, Oct 31, 2014
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