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I'm scared of being blackmailed after I come out

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Driftr, Oct 31, 2014.

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  1. Driftr

    Driftr
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    I don't feel safe anymore. Or maybe my mind is overreacting. I'm scared that after I come out, my family will blackmail me back into the closet somehow. My mom & sister have proven to be opportunistic at times, I'm scared that they're going to threaten to say I did something I didn't (like a crime that requires no evidence) to try to control me so I can renounce my homosexuality. And I've read that it's rare, but it's really easy for a man to go to jail for a false crime like rape or assault even with no evidence. And worse, the statute of limitation for something like that is unlimited where I live (I live in Canada) so they can lie and say I committed that crime years ago.

    As harsh as it sounds, I feel like moving far away and never having contact with them again. I don't plan on coming out now because I'm still relying on financial support from my parents, and after I'm done university and start working (which is in 4 or more years) , I plan to abruptly leave and maybe leave a fake phone number or something, just so I can protect myself from blackmail. Even now, it hurts, but I'm slowly withdrawing from everyone. They ask why I don't come out my room anymore & I can't tell anyone the real reason why I seem depressed.

    I don't want to come out because I don't know if they'll ever come around. They all seem homophobic with my mom being the most homophobic out of the whole family.

    Has anyone ever been blackmailed after coming out? Can I protect myself from something like this? I'm sorry if I seem like I'm overreacting.
     
    #1 Driftr, Oct 31, 2014
  2. bingostring

    bingostring
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    Are your family really so mean as to pull a stunt like that?
    I think - and I hope - you are over thinking things. And you can manage things over the coming few years to tread your own path without being ostracised by your family.
    Do you think you are getting in a bit of an anxious state over something not quite deserving of so much fear ??
     
    #2 bingostring, Oct 31, 2014
  3. Driftr

    Driftr
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    I don't know. I really hope I'm just overreacting. But my mom has proven really opportunistic and controlling. She called the police a few times over trivial things like arguing over a laptop or the heat temperature in our house. So, even though something like this is rare, I'm scared that she, or anyone else in my family, are one of the rare ones who would do something like that. I feel like my life could potentially be over before it even starts. I really do hope I'm still overreacting. :frowning2:
     
    #3 Driftr, Oct 31, 2014
  4. bingostring

    bingostring
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    Wow .. At least it's a good thing you realise that is not normal behaviour !!!
    Seriously though.. You need to pace things over the subject of coming out and take it step at a time when it feels right. Might be best after you have gone to uni - if you can wait that long - and by then a few things will have changed and you will have more clues on the likely behaviour of family members !!!
     
    #4 bingostring, Oct 31, 2014
  5. Really

    Really
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    Whoa nelly! She's called the police about the heat? Oh, don't worry. They've got a record of her nonsense calls and she'll not be doing herself any favours making things up.
    This is Canada, man. We don't just arrest people willy-nilly without proof. I would hope. (9 times out of 10?)

    Anyway, maybe start standing up to her on non-LGBT issues to build up your confidence so when the time comes you'll be better equipped to present your case.
     
    #5 Really, Oct 31, 2014
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