Hi there lovely people! I'm trying to be completely out as a lesbian, which is working pretty well. I'm out to most of my friends and my parents, and at school I am able to tell people when something like it is brought up. My family is very accepting, I know for sure, but I'm still struggling to come out to them. Last week for example, my cousin asked if I had a boyfriend. I know she would be accepting and supportive if I would have said 'No, I like girls' or anything like that, but for some reason I couldn't. My sister was sitting next to me and she knows I'm gay and she's very accepting, though we don't talk about it much. She's a few years younger to me and I think she's just a little to young to help me with something like that. She looked a little confused when I didn't say anything to my cousin, because my parents, sister and me have said it would no longer be a secret and we would tell when someone asked. I don't know if you could help me in any way, but I'm sad and kind of disappointed in myself that I didn't tell her. Is there anything I could do to get myself to be completely out? Thanks!
Be gentle with yourself. Coming out isn't just one time as you know. We come out so many times to so many people and each time there is that nervous feeling that you may be rejected or you may somehow lose the relationship you have with that person. It gets easier as you tell more and more people. You start developing a way of telling that feels safe for you. But it is never without some nervousness, and the closer you are to someone the harder it can be because there is more at stake in the relationship. But always be gentle with yourself. Sometimes its all about the right context and timing, not just for you but for the other person as well.
Just relax... would it help you if you would say you like girls for now ? Maybe it would help if you would see it as just part of your personality... its not all... you still have your own kind of humour, your food preferences, etc... its a part of you, and completely allright. (*hug*)
Thanks a lot! I know it takes time, but I feel like the time is right now to come out to everyone. It's just kind of frustrating that I'm for some reason not able to tell my family, since I know thy would be really supportive. A few of my cousins go to the same school as I, so I don't want them to hear it at school. As I said, it's just really frustrating. Anyway, thanks, I think I ust need to give myself some more time.
