So this guy started talking to me online a couple weeks ago, and we had a decent amount in common. He said we should meet for dessert, and then that morphed into dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. I wasn't ever clear if that was a date, but then he said he had a great time and wanted to see me again. So a few days later, we went to the fair. Apparently he had "a lot of fun" that night too. Well, I was almost shocked when he said he wanted to see me for yet a third time (or date, whatever—I have low self-esteem, so I'm shocked when anyone wants to see me haha :bang. Somehow or another, we ended up talking about my apartment, and he asked when he could visit and watch a movie or something. So we set a tentative date, and he's just gotten back to me about a time. I said that tomorrow afternoon worked for me, but I have something going on in the evening, and he said that he would "prefer to not leave early" and would rather do it another day (the implication being when my night was free). I know the third date is supposedly the "sex date" in the straight world, and I'm terrible at reading between the lines (as well as being fairly new to how pretty much anything with sex works :icon_redf). Does this sound like he's planning on it being an intimate evening, or am I reading too much into it? Or is it super obvious? I'm not sure I'm ready to go that far with him, and I'm scared of making it awkward, or not reading him well, or not knowing how far to go. Blah. Do you have any thoughts/tips? Thanks :help:
It definitely sounds like he wants to have a more intimate date with you. Whether that means he wants to have sex or just cozy up to each other and be comfortable in a non-public setting is hard to say, but I think it's pretty likely that he wants to have some level of physical contact. If that's something you want, great! He obviously likes you so if the feeling is mutual then go for it. If you haven't reached that point yet though or aren't sure he's the right guy for you don't feel pressured to do something you don't want to do. Any guy worth having will be understanding if you don't want to rush into anything and will want you to feel comfortable with him. Good luck!
I'm not omnipotent, so obviously I can't know his intentions, but watching a movie and cuddling is always nice and maybe that's all he wants to do. Just be honest with him if sex comes up. Tell him that you really like him, but you aren't ready. Communication is very important.
As EpicConfusion said, communication is key. If you like him, let him come over, but if you don't feel comfortable having sex yet, just tell him clearly and nicely. If he cares for you at least a little, he will understand. If he doesn't... well I guess he isn't the kind of guy you are looking for right now.
I never have a rule when it comes to when to be intimate. I've gotten intimate after one or two dates, and I've dated someone recently out, where it was very little intimacy for a few months. Each person, each situation is different. Be honest. Communicate. If he likes you he should be able to work with you some. If all he wants is sex, that's obviously not what you're looking for or are ready for. Just communicate .
