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first lesbian crush in freshman year?? help??

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by gwiiyomi, Nov 1, 2014.

  1. gwiiyomi

    Regular Member

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    i literally have no one to talk to about this. only one of my friends actually likes girls, but she doesn't seem to care/want to help whenever i bring up my crush. i can't really trust many people at my school to give me advice and not tell anyone else about my crush, so i thought it'd be better to vent annonymously here.

    so i really need some advice.

    i've known i liked girls since i was 7. i guess i could say i'm bisexual, but i tend to label myself as just "gay" or "homoflexible" more often since i lean really strongly towards girls, and i'm not really interested in dating any guys as of now. i'm 15 now, and although i've had many many small girl crushes, this is my first REAL one, and oh, god. it's hitting me so hard.

    so, on the first day of school, she was wearing a nirvana shirt. i loooove nirvana, they're one of my favorite bands. i knew i wanted to be her friend. we had a bit of small talk in health class, but when gym class started, we started talking quite a bit. we always walk together and talk about stuff. we joke around, we laugh, we goof off. we like a lot of the same stuff, and we get along great together. i'm happy about it because yknow.. my crush is talking to me! but it also makes me happy because she's really cool as a friend, and we make each other laugh a lot, and we text sometimes, too. like, if it turned out she was straight or she didn't like me or already was dating someone or whatever, i'd be cool with just being her friend. that's why i'm cautious as hell about her knowing ANYTHING, because i don't want our friendship to be ruined if she found out.

    i don't know what her sexuality is. she's very masculine, in the way she dresses, walks, speaks, and acts in general. she's never really talked about her interest in anyone so i'm not sure if she's straight, gay, bi... or what.

    okay... now, i'm not sure if she's flirting with me or just being friendly??
    i'm just going to list the "hints" i've gotten because i'm too lazy to write an entire paragraph lmao.

    -she gives me nicknames a lot, really random ones, after food and stuff, like "rice krispy treat" and "skittles" are two she's called me, there's tons more
    -she's asked me about what my plans are for the weekend or for special occassions, but has never really asked to hang out. (for example, she asked if i was going to this festival thing, and shes asked what i was doing for halloween)
    -she always kind of like??? ends up going near me?? like i cant explain it. if im standing somewhere in the same room as her and i look away and then look back, shes there.
    -she compliments me a lot. she said i had cool hair, she says i look awesome (i feel like she was about to say something else bc she hesitated when she said awesome), she always compliments my clothes and bracelets. and ok like i wear these fake glasses to school to kind of hide my face a bit because of low self esteem, and she asked me to go to school the next day without my glasses because she thinks i look awesome without them
    -shes asked me for social media websites and stuff
    -we randomly make eye contact in class
    -she always tells me about how she used to be afraid to talk to me but now she's comfortable with me or whatever
    -whenever i walk home with someone else, she walks behind us as if she wants to join in. she seems to kinda walk faster to catch up with me whenever i walk home
    -shes asked me if i have a crush on anyone (and stupid me said i didnt like anyone, and i didnt ask her if she likes anyone... smh)
    -shes jokingly asked me to twerk once LMAO it was actually really funny idk i thought i should include that here bc why not
    -she always asks me about my interests and facts about me and stuff, as if shes interested
    -shes mentioned her brother talking about me like ive talked to her brother once and it was just a short conversation like............ it may mean somehting??? like shes mentioned me before? Idk

    in general, we talk often, we can relate a LOT, we banter a lot, she always starts conversations with me and i always start conversations with her. idk, does it sound like she likes me??? or am i just overanalyzing?? any advice would be appreciated.
     
  2. bi2me

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    It sounds like she might like you, or she might just want to be friends. I guess you guys should make a friend date to hang out and see what happens. You could always drop hints about being interested in girls around her and see what her reaction is (of course only if you think it would not be physically dangerous to do so)... maybe choose a movie/show with a queer character to start the conversation. She might be sending you hints waiting for you to tell her, or she might just want a friend.