:soapbox: So I know I'm not completely straight but I wouldn't say I'm totally bi. When I was a lot younger I realised I fantasised about women though I never wanted to date one. Even now I'm still meh about the whole dating girls thing but I have had some more... *ahem* shall we say, adult experiences with women? :icon_redf Yeah, I've never been really comfortable talking about my sex life and this is a first time discussing it sort of thing so... be prepared for a lot of innuendo or joking, it makes me feel better. I'm 21 and go to an arts university where everyone is experimental about more than just their music - I have walked in on an orgy at party... That is not a joke. I have had more relationships with men than women and in general, I tend to drift more towards men than women because I get along with men a lot more. I just also really appreciate women... physically. I have a lot of comfortably out gay and lesbian friends and even my godfathers are gay, so it's not the life style or the fear that's holding me back, it's just the fact I genuinely am not interested in a romantic relationship with women. Or at least up until now I wasn't. So there's this girl who I knew was a lesbian and I thought we were just friends but she's asked me out. We were just beginning to be friends and on one hand I don't want to ruin that but then I think if I'm genuinely worried about our friendship, maybe I wouldn't mind being something more. I mean all of my dating relationships with guys have been based off friendships so I thought maybe, okay. She intrigues me. She's really smart and pretty. I'll try this. Two days later, three nights before the date. I am freaking out. :help: Firstly, I have like four female friends I genuinely adore and even out of them I only can have a conversation with two of them. I've only known this girl for a little over two months and even then our conversation sometimes have awkward lags - this is normal for me and female friends, I have a hard time finding things in common with other girls. Two, I am really trying to go into this with an open mind. Like, completely and utterly OPEN. I can already tell physically she's my type but I'm already thinking this isn't going to work out. I think I'm a horrible person sometimes but just emotionally, I have no feelings for girls. I want to give this a try though because I always get called part-time bi-curious and it makes me feel like I treat the whole lesbian community as a joke (this is pretty much why I'm ranting online to a bunch of people I don't know rather than ask my LGBT friends for advice because as much as I love them they always make me feel bad... There's an ongoing joke going on about me breaking girls hearts because I'm too straight and I have actually made someone cry which I DON'T WANT TO DO but my heart just isn't in it) Third, what the hell should I do with her? This literally has nothing to do with sexuality but she's a vegan and a picky eater who goes to the same restaurants we always go to, if we go to the movies, I feel like it would be a cop out on my part because it would let me be silence for one and a half hours without any awkwardness and my normal go to date is bowling but she has told me she hates bowling... I considered going to a bar but I'm stupidly doing a sober-month before Christmas... Or maybe not so stupidly considering how much my liver hated me last year but THAT'S NOT THE POINT! Other dates I've organised are usually just me cooking at my house which I could do but that's also a massive temptation because those dates always end up with sex and I'm trying not to do that. Fourth, and good god this is ridiculous. And I hate myself for this, I really :***: do. It's a stupid ridiculous immature question but it's actually the reason I'm here. (Because my friends would either laugh or get mad at me for asking) BUT WHAT DO I DO IF WE GO TO THE BATHROOM AT THE SAME TIME. Okay. This sounds crazy, but it is a big :***: deal with me. I have phobias to do with bathrooms. There was a single unisex bathroom once when I went out with my ex and I didn't go and he thought I was just being weird because in all fairness, it was gross. No, actually it wasn't. It was that the only time I have ever shared a bathroom moment with someone I was dating was NEVER. I don't do that. I broke up with a guy because he left the bathroom door open while he peed. It's irrational, it's stupid. I don't like it. How do I not make a big deal out of it if she follows me in? Because yes, with my female friends I would totally be cool with this but my phobias do not allow me to be cool with this on a date and I don't want to just bring it up but I've never gone on a date with a girl before (who have I mentioned she's full hardcore lesbian who calls herself a purist because she's never been with a guy before?) and maybe there's an etiquette they don't tell the occasional bi-sexuals (heavy on the sexual bi) and IS THERE A HANDBOOK SOMEONE HASN'T GIVEN ME?!?! :bang: Gah! This is causing so much untold anxiety in my life. I wish I didn't feel this way, only because it's hard. If I just liked men or just liked women it'd be easier. Last worry. Like I said before. Trying to go in with an open mind. But I actually really like this girl. Not like like but like. It's hard for me to make female friends because I grew up with three brothers and six male first cousins who all treated me like a boy. I've already psycho analysed it and the reason I get a female-hard-on for girls is probably because I used to listen to them talk about hot hot various girls were and was in a bedroom filled with half-naked posters of women and it probably messed with my psyche. The reason why I emotionally connect with guys is probably because up until I was about thirteen, I never had a close female friend. I don't want to lose her as a friend. I'd like her to be my fourth close female friend because apart from the fact I'm trying to make her a carnivore and she's trying to convince me a lack of bacon is a good thing, we do have fun. I have a bad enough time because I emotionally connect with men better than I do with women and physically connect with women more than I do with men and that has ruined ALL of my relationships. All I have sometimes is my friendships. If this doesn't work out, is there a way not to lose her? If anyone has time to read my essay, can you help out? Please? :tantrum:
Well would it be a possibility to think about what you really want from a partnership ? What kind of partner would you like... what would you talk about... etc... not figured out to a t but just as idea.... You might just make friends with her... and talk a bit about your emotions, and your viewpoints... Oh, hello and welcome...
Ahhh. Well, firstly, I don't think there is any "part time bi" you either are bi or you are not. And you can still only ever date the opposite sex but have attraction to the same sex and still be bi. There are different levels of bi-ness. So you have nothing to prove and you don't have to date a girl. If you want to see how you feel about dating a girl, give it a try. But let this girl know that she shouldn't have any expectations because while you really like her, you have never dated a girl before, and you just want to see how it goes and take it from there with no pressure. Also, if you are having purely sexual relationships with girls, make sure these girls know that's all you want and that they are OK with that. Be upfront and please don't lead anyone on. For the rest of your worries, idk girl just relax and chill some. Good luck!
