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Need advice for an ambiguously romantic friendship

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by galadriel, Nov 2, 2014.

  1. galadriel

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    Hi! So I'm kind of questioning my sexuality right now. I'm an 18 year old girl who has assumed she is straight up until the past few years when I've had more exposure to the LGBTQA community and media. So basically my story starts when I met my friend (who's also a girl) the second year of high school. We really hit it off, and we've remained close friends since. Starting last year we started this running inside joke that we're married (idk how it started), but it's kind of been a continuous thing. A lot of our humor is pretty sexual, but recently something has changed. We continue to joke about being married, dating, or being gay (we've talked about how we're not fully straight). She consistently stands much closer to me than is necessary, especially when we're alone, and we often cuddle together. We joke about making out and sex and thing like that, but now I'm having a hard time defining everything we talk about as purely comedic. And I think about her all. the. time. Things like going on dates, holding hands, just being next to her, and kissing her. But I have no idea if she's like this with everyone (I don't think she is), and if she feels the same way. She also has a really hard time being vulnerable in any way and is extremely sarcastic, so I don't think she would ever come out and tell me if she was interested. We talk almost everyday and there's something about when are eyes lock when we're laughing that just seems magical. I've never dated anyone before so I don't really feel like I have the best judgement or knowledge about these kinds of things. I know you obviously don't know us and can't make the best judgement, but what do you think I should do? I really don't think I could ever muster the courage to actually tell her how I feel though, especially since I'm just now coming to terms with the fact that I'm crushing on her majorly (my first gay crush). I just get so happy when I think about being on a date with her, but I don't know if we would ever actually be comfortable being out as a couple (we have religious parents). I'm desperate for advice. Thanks!
     
  2. Really

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    Hi galadriel,
    I don't know about the religious parents aspect but I'm wondering, since you have this "comedic" relationship, whether you could jokingly propose a "proper" date. Plan it out together and then do it. See how it unfolds and whether becoming a bit more serious during this date changes how she behaves. It sort of sounds like she might be at the same place as you. (Or, it might just be wishful thinking on my part.)
     
  3. galadriel

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    That's actually a really fantastic idea Really
     
  4. galadriel

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    Does anyone else have any advice? I really need it.
     
  5. Chromedome

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    I'd say be real. Tell her," We are in a bad situation at the moment, lets keep our relationships visibly friends only until we have enough skills and money and jobs etc to live our own life. I live a homophobic area so if any guys comes around me i'll tell him," I'm straight and besides I can't really afford to be gay at the moment but I emphasise with you, afraid of being called a fag, abuse, isolation, safety."
     
    #5 Chromedome, Nov 6, 2014
    Last edited: Nov 6, 2014