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No longer want to be in a relationship

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by geoworld24, Nov 4, 2014.

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  1. geoworld24

    geoworld24 Guest

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    I have accepted my sexuality and am happy with it and started to live openly at 34. I've began to date and recently had my first ever sexual experience. I enjoy sex and being with men but I am beginning to feel I want to just be alone and focus on other things in my life. In some ways I liked things better when I was repressed and alone. Being in a relationship is taking up huge amounts of time and energy for me and I've let other things suffer. I'm glad I finally did this but I just want to take a break for a while. I have been seeing this wonderful man who is very sweet and loving for a few dates but I just don't want to be with him anymore. As this is coming so soon after we had sex I don't want him to think I just used him for it. How do I let him know I don't want to pursue the relationship without looking like a jerk?
     
    #1 geoworld24, Nov 4, 2014
  2. OnTheHighway

    OnTheHighway
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    hmm, not sure there is anyway to break something off with someone without them thinking your a jerk. That probably the nature of break ups.

    Sounds like you already have your thoughts on what to say, i.e. you want some time to yourself. You recently came out and need to continue to process it.

    Good luck!
     
    #2 OnTheHighway, Nov 4, 2014
  3. geoworld24

    geoworld24 Guest

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    I guess this whole post was poorly made. I guess my real question is why am I feeling this way? I am very confused. I Had sex and now want to stop everything and just be alone. The brief relationship was everything I was searching for but now for some reason I just don't want it anymore after experiencing it. I liked having sex but afterwards everything changed for me.
     
    #3 geoworld24, Nov 4, 2014
  4. OnTheHighway

    OnTheHighway
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    Maybe you actually did not fancy him as much as you initially thought? And maybe there is some guilt involved as a result? Just me guessing.
     
    #4 OnTheHighway, Nov 4, 2014
  5. duende84

    duende84
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    Could be a form of post traumatic stress kicking in? Give yourself some time and discuss it with your partner.
     
    #5 duende84, Nov 4, 2014
  6. Mystory

    Mystory
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    It might just be the fact that you've spent so many years alone and repressed that having your first sexual experience and relationship with a man may have just been more of a "bucket list" thing for you. As you have said, now that you have done that, you want to focus on other things- as if you have crossed that experience off your bucket list. Maybe you wanted to see if whether or not the grass was greener on the other side?

    It may also be that the relationship is moving too fast as well and that you two aren't giving each other enough time apart, causing you to feel somewhat suffocated..
     
    #6 Mystory, Nov 4, 2014
  7. geoworld24

    geoworld24 Guest

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    I had a session with my psychologist and came to the realization that I wasn't ready for sex. My guy (not ready call him boyfriend yet) was genuinely worried about me after I didn't reply to his texts, phone calls for almost 2 days. That was really weird that someone actually cares that much for me. We're talking again! Thanks for all your support. I feel I am coming off as a flake or something :icon_redf but I am completely new to this.
     
    #7 geoworld24, Nov 5, 2014
  8. resu

    resu
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    Just tell him what you want in this relationship and ask what he wants. Be honest with him that you're still new to this.
     
    #8 resu, Nov 5, 2014
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