1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Hooked up with best friend and now it feels awkward

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by FreshWhyte, Nov 4, 2014.

Thread Tools

Thread Tools

  1. FreshWhyte

    FreshWhyte
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2014
    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    So this past weekend I was having some drinks with my straight best friend (of which I am in love with and he is somewhat aware of this, he said before he was bi but that he only likes girls now). We went out, got pretty drunk and left the bar to head home. On the way back he started talking to me about if I would ever consider hooking up with him, I said yes. Then out of the blue he starts making out with me, we get back to his place, we start making out again and then he says that he wants to have sex with me but makes me promise that it won't get awkward.

    Anyways we do our thing, and towards the end of it he stops and says he can't go through with it, saying that he likes girls too much. I accepted it and went to sleep.

    Now since then it seems like he's pissed off at me about something, I'm trying my best to not be awkward, I have no reason to be in my mind. But yet it feels like he's the one who's being awkward. I really don't want to lose him as a friend, but there's even something in my mind that tells me he doesn't remember much ?.

    Am I just over-analyzing things ? Should I just give it time or is this friendship truly fkd ?
     
    #1 FreshWhyte, Nov 4, 2014
  2. lb41974

    lb41974 Guest

    Joined:
    Sep 20, 2014
    Messages:
    739
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Maybe he is really upset with him self for trying to hook up with you it may not be you at all ! I may be way off here but that is just my opinion ,give him some time and then maybe you two can sit down and talk about what happened . I wish you the best of luck !
     
    #2 lb41974, Nov 4, 2014
  3. Chip

    Chip
    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2008
    Messages:
    16,560
    Likes Received:
    4,757
    Location:
    northern CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I don't think it's you. To be honest, I think that he is horrified, terrified, or somewhere on that spectrum that he might actually have feelings for a guy. And that, in turn, could make things awkward for him, because he knows that you know that he, at least at that moment, was having the feelings and acting on them.

    The best thing you can do here is give it time and space. More than likely, he'll just come around and be fine, and you may not need to say anything more. Or, if in fact, he discovers that he does have a genuine attraction toward guys, it could be the beginning of his own self-exploration and perhaps coming out process, in which case you'll need to just be there, be supportive, and let whatever his process is unfold.

    It's always challenging when these sorts of things happen, but if the friendship is solid, you'll both get past it.
     
    #3 Chip, Nov 4, 2014
  4. Blossom85

    Blossom85
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2014
    Messages:
    1,377
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New South Wales, Australia
    I think for a guy who has considered themselves to be straight and then to make out and hook up to a point with your male best friend is going to be really conflicting and confusing to him right now.. He might be a little terrified of what he is feeling right now and he might be scared of what it could mean, he might be trying to deny who he is to himself and trying to push it all inside and pretend he is someone he is not.

    He might like girls more, but it does seem like to an extent, he could be bi curious or bisexual if he was willing to do that with you. He initiated it all and it could all be bothering him more then he is willing to admit.

    I do agree with Chip. I think just give it some time and him a little space to work through this and get through it all, I do think you respecting him and just giving him space is the best thing right now and if you truly are best friends and have a really good and strong solid friendship, then I don't think you have anything to worry about.
     
    #4 Blossom85, Nov 4, 2014
  5. FreshWhyte

    FreshWhyte
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2014
    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    thanks for the advise everyone, I appreciate it
     
    #5 FreshWhyte, Nov 5, 2014
  6. resu

    resu
    Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2013
    Messages:
    4,968
    Likes Received:
    395
    Location:
    Oklahoma City
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Just hold your head high. He did what he did, and he needs to come to terms with it. Tell him you still want to be friends but you don't want to push him if he's uncomfortable.
     
    #6 resu, Nov 5, 2014
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)