So I've recently met a girl at a job I just started and I think I really like her. She's super funny and nice and seems like just the person I need. However, because I've only ever been in relationships (and only a few) with guys, I have no idea how to approach this. Also, I'm just really scared and don't even know if I want to pursue it because my ENTIRE family is 100% against homosexual relationships and I love them so much I don't think I could take that kind of rejection. The other thing is, while I love making out with girls, I'm not sure if I can go further. I don't want to be offensive to her by saying no, and it might happen eventually but just not right away. She seems to be open to one night stands and I am just not into that, I need to be in a committed relationship. Any type of relationship I am in would require probably at least 6 months or more of being together before I would want to get super physical. I feel like she would understand this, but back to the problem of my family... She is very open about being a lesbian but I just wouldn't be able to be that open and I feel like she would tell people like co-workers which would be fine except my Dad works in the same building (with a different company) and is a pretty frequent customer of ours and it would be very hard to make sure that EVERYONE kept the secret. What should I do? :help:
Hi First of all you should get clear about what you want. Don't worry to much about family or about what other people may say. It's your life and you should live it the way it makes you feel good and happy If you're not so sure about being with a girl, it's totally okay. You don't have to rush into things...Take the time you need and take one step at a time . First discover your feelings, find out what you want and then later you can work on the situation with your parents. I ignored the "parents problem" as long as it was possible and not necessary to talk about it..when it got serious with the girl I planned my further steps together with her :icon_wink So now to the girl: does she know that you like her? Does she like you back? Are you friends or have you started dating? That's an important point. E.g. When you're friends or already dating maybe you should try to talk to her honestly. Tell her about your worries, fears and feelings. Hopefully she will be understanding as you've assumed and then see how it will go on. Just my thoughts to this..hope it helps you a bit. (*hug*)
Thanks for the reply! We are currently just friends, but she has definitely hinted at being more. I've kind of hinted that I like her as well, but like you said I didn't want to rush into things. We don't really get to talk alone a lot and that is an issue for the communication, but when we do get to talk alone I love it! I am all for waiting to tell my parents until it gets serious but it's just the problem of my dad being so close to us at times and I feel like something will slip or he will catch on before I am ready to tell him.
Well that sounds not so bad. It's a good basis to build up on You two should arrange to meet outside of work. Maybe going out for having a coffee or something simple like that...Then you can talk open and without interruption, get to know her better and get closer. And of course outside of work your dad will not disturb you. :icon_wink Tell her that you worry about your dad, that he could find out something and that you are not ready to tell him. You said that you're friends. For someone who likes you it shouldn't be a problem to keep it secret. I don't think that she will run around and tell everybody. I totally understand your concers about your dad Coming out to parents is never an easy thing to do, especially not when you haven't planned it and when it happens accidentially. But do you think that he will react so bad if he finds out?
We have hung out a little outside of work, I actually ran into her this morning and we hung out for a while! I think it will be good if we just keep hanging out and she will most likely understand about my dad and not tell anyone. It's just another problem that I am at college and there are a few other people that I've known since before here like people I used to go to church with when I was younger and stuff that will be appalled probably and could tell my parents so I'm really hesitant about any king of PDA but I don't want to her to think I am pushing her away. Also I am honestly unsure of how my dad will react, but since he is such an important person in my life I don't want to take the chance because if he reacted badly I wouldn't be able to handle it.
Well that sounds good so far. I wish you the best with this girl! (*hug*) And concerning the people at college don't worry too much. I know it's not so easy. If they pick something up, they will gossip about it...people are awful sometimes. But hey, why should they find out something when you don't tell them about it or talk about it at college ? I mean the girl you like is not at college with you and you surely won't hold hands or make out in front of them all. So just try to not think about it too much, don't wound up. It will work out all right in the end, somehow
She is at college with me, but your right they could just interpret it as friendship. Anyways, thanks for all the help!
Okay sorry, thought you two just work together xD Then be a bit careful, but yeah, maybe they interpret it only as friedship... as long as you don't make something too eye-catching like kissing or so :icon_wink You're welcome I'm glad that I was able to help you a bit.
