Well I don't know where to start. we met around 3 months ago. he's 23 and out of the closet. I'm 21 and not out. The first night we got together I invited him over when there was nobody home, it was very nice but we didn't talk much.. in the morning he just left. I made him promise he won't talk about this to anyone. We kept chatting and met a few times more.. and we both started to change. It all twisted when he invited me to watch a movie to his house and it wasn't at all about sex. We just cuddled and connected immensely and then slept together, he told me I was beautiful and that he liked me. He started saying we wanted to be with me more often and I kinda got really scared, as I live in a really conservative enviorment, homophobic brother and dad, and all that. And also don't really know if I'm gay or whatever. So I got kinda anxious and paranoid about this, and the thing is that a couple of weeks ago he said he told his sister about us (me and his sisters have some friends in common, she's my age) I got really mad and we didn't talk for like 10 days, until yesterday when I said I wanted to hang out with him to talk. I've no idea what am I gonna say, I'm thinking of breaking up but I'm not quite sure. It feels so good when I'm with him. As I had no one to talk before, I wrote something for him, it's like a poem or whatever haha. I like writing. Here it is so you get more insight on how am I feeling. It's pretty rough though. [removed] Any commets are well welcome and also grammatical mistakes (Eng is not my 1st languague) What the hell should I do?? Also, whatever my decision is, I won't see him in Dec, Jan and Feb. And I don't want to miss him everyday, I'm a very sentimental guy. But on the other hand I like him very much, first time I connect to someone so deeply.
Hmm.... this is up to you in a sense. Relationships are hard, but you have to get over your own insecurity if you want to keep him. It will definetly be rough for those months you don't see him if you decide to stay in the relationship, but from what you said, I think he's worth it. Also, I wish a guy wrote something like that for me. That's a very sweet poem. Make sure you give it to him if you're going to stay in this relationship. I advise you too if you love him so much, but it is your decision, and sometimes it is rough taking on a relationship like this for the first time.
When you stop caring about what others might think, you will begin to finally think for yourself and your own happiness. You're an adult, so focus on becoming independent from those homophobes (even if they're your family), and try to start coming out. You don't have to say you're gay; just that you like guys. IMO, you owe it to this guy to at least understand yourself and what you want. This is a good time to have a "DTR" (define this relationship) talk with him, where you both write what you want out of it and then try to share and come to an agreement.
