So this friend from school (I'm in high school) says he's not gay, but gives me like 100 reasons to believe otherwise. Then he gives me a few to believe him. Maybe I'm just thinking wishfully, or maybe I'm just lost. I don't know. Needless to say, I've fallen for him, and he may have caught on. For the GAY side: extremely feminine (yes, stereotypical, sorry), very touchy, flirty, I've caught him wearing my jacket when I've left it with him at school, jokes with me about us being in each other's beds, hugs and touches at school (has laid off since people started asking if we were together lol), has flat out told me he loves me through texts (I shook it off as joke:bang:, should have run with that), he has plenty of reason to hide it (family is exceptionally conservative and religious), used to push to try to get me to come out (said I was straight :bang::bang::bang, last year someone asked if he was gay and he said no and actually started to cry (didn't know anyone was watching. Can you say creeper? :icon_wink) For the STRAIGHT team: has told me he doesn't think homosexuality exists (possible "brainwashing" from his family?), says he doesn't support gay marriage and that he's a republican ("brainwash?"), has told me that he's straight after joking (buy not every time) We'll... And there you have it, thanks for sitting through that... Glad you cared enough. So now to the main point: what do you think? Depending on the responses here, I may go for broke. Gay or straight? I usually don't put emotion into things when I evaluate them, but I can't do this one alone. By the way... I told him I was straight!!! But I'm not gay, so it wasn't a complete lie, right?:dry:
Hmm, he certainly sounds like what I've believed most of my life to be gay, especially with the text message. Still, I wouldn't advise you to confess to him unless you ask him if he likes guys. You two seem to know each other well, and I think if you ask sweetly and honestly when you two are alone he'll be honest. That's what I'd do at least. Still, when you tell him (if you do) make sure to tell him you don't see it as a sin and that you're okay with it if it's true. If he still denies it, I don't see much else you can do but believe him. Regarding confessing your feelings, make sure it's the right mood if you do. It may feel like you're swallowing your gut, but it helps to tell. I'd hate to never tell somebody how I felt about them, and I think you'd rather have a broken heart by confrontation then by wasted time. With his family, I wouldn't pressure him to tell them yet. Don't try to force him out of the closet (if he's gay). He might not even believe what his family says, or it could be that "brainwash" thing as you said. Whatever the case, this is your friend. Be patient with him, and stand by his side, straight, gay, etc.
All the arguments for him being straight seem to just be him denying his own sexuality leading to homophobia. He sounds gay, but not ready to accept who he is. My advice is to just be there for him and be a good friend. Are you out to him?
We'll I haven't told him how I feel about him. Not yet... ---------- Post added 5th Nov 2014 at 10:02 PM ---------- Oh... I forgot to mention that anytime were really near each other and I start joking around with a girl he tells me to stop flirting. Kind of screams "pay attention to me." And then Sometimes I'll be talking to him, and he will tell me to stop flirting with him. I don't even think he knows!
I am 99.99999% sure that based on what you've said he's gay and likes you. Does he know your orientation?
Well, I'm pretty sure I told him, when he asked me if I needed to come out of the closet, "no, I don't." So, I think he's assuming I'm straight.
That's kind of what I was thinking, but I'm still unsure. I don't want to scare him off. Ohh... And I forgot to mention that one time we were talking, he told me he wasn't ready for "the thing", which he wouldn't explain further. He said it would make him uncomfortable to talk about it and that it wasn't meant to be talked about. That was really out of the blue, and when he said it I was like "umm... Ok.". I'm thinking you guys may be right, but I'm still not going to do anything about it yet.
Aw just tell him you're gay already and spread the love Haha I just got bored and decided I didn't really want to hide it anymore, everyone just assumes I'm straight anyway lol
It doesn't matter if he's gay or not. If he says he isn't, he either really isn't or he's in denial. I agree that you should come out first to show he can trust you if he is in denial.
