Okay so a while back like last year there was this guy and I instantly fell in love with him and it was my first time liking a guy ever and I was really confused and I just didn't know what I was feeling and I really liked him and I didn't know him but we had the same friends but I never really talked to him after that. But then I was at my friends house like two months after that and apparently my friends sister is going out with my crushes brother and so I saw him again and then after that we started texting and stuff and I really liked him and I'm in the closet btw Cuz I haven't said that and no one that I know is gay so anyways I was texting him and somehow we got to the point where we ended up saying that we both liked each other and that we're both in the closet and like we started hanging out after that and we were like secretly dating but none of us told anyone. So anyways one day we were like makingout like away from our friends at a party and someone saw us and it was just really stressful for both of us and we decided to just break up so we can just say nothing about us. Well the girl who saw us was texting me and I explained to her and she promised she wouldn't tell anyone. But she did. So she was at a party with a bunch of girls and they took her phone and saw it (according to her) and I honestly think she just told them. And I'm pretty popular at my school and all those girls are too and so I'm pretty sure they told everyone and shit and like I think everyone knows and the guy I had a thing with doesnt go to my school. So anyways the girls I think told people and it got to one of my friends and thay brings us to today where at lunch my friend asked me in front of everyone if i knew who the guy was. I said no and he was like "really? You don't know who he is? You sure?" And I was like nope and stuff but then I started blushing like and my face got really red and it was so embarrassing I just want to die it sucks and everyone is going to think I'm gay and I don't even like the guy anymore because I like some other guy and my friends hate me now and I just don't know what to do anymore. I hate my self and I hate all of this bullshit. I just don't know what to do. I really like another guy but idk I just can't believe that all of this happened
First off, you are one heck of an amazing person for getting through what you're getting through. I know that everything is really difficult for you right now, it must be tough but you'll get through it. You won't be in school forever even though it might seem that way right now. If your friends really do hate you then they aren't your friends, real friends will love you and stick with you no matter what. Don't hate yourself, please. As silly as it sounds you are an amazing person, every human being is important okay? Things may be a real pain right now but they will get better. (*hug*)
Well first of all don't hate yourself. At least you got the guts for kissing that guy. It's unfortunate for people to find out secrets through messages, and that always sucks. There will be people in your life that will stick by your side, and those are the ones you can truly call friends. You could talk to someone about it, like a teacher or counselor; someone that you can trust. If you like that boy then you like him! It's all good in the hood. In the long run you'll care less about what people think and more about what you want.
