In love with my friend who may/may not be gay...please help !!?

Sincere apologies for this long first post but I hope to get some advice from you all. I know you will have all heard this story before but here goes.

I've fallen hard for a friend who started out as a work colleague. We haven't known each other that long but as we were working away from home we ended up spending a lot of time together and have become good friends. Almost immediately I got definite vibes from him such as smiling eye contact, often standing literally right next to me so our arms almost touch, sometimes catching him looking at me when he doesn't think I can see and letting our fingers touch just that little bit longer than you might expect when passing work tools and when that happens it definitely feels like there's a spark between us. When the two of us have spent time together away from work, for instance a meal, it often "feels" like being a couple. It often feels like one of us wants to tell the other something but we just can't and both recognising this talk about something else instead.

I know he has had two or three girlfriends in the past, at least one of them long term, but he hasn't looked at women really when I've been around him or commented on them. I asked him what type of girls he liked but his answer was non-specific and not what I normally hear from straight guys. But I can't honestly say I've caught him checking out guys either. His mannerisms will often be just a little bit camp, sometimes with a high pitched voice but other times it's like he puts up what I call a "straight barrier". He did a lot of dancing including ballet as a kid. I know that's a stereotype but it just seems to fit in this case. When we have had the odd disagreement he seems to go into somewhat of a camp mode too.

I would say my sexuality is fluid. I tend to get attracted to the person inside, regardless of the gender. If there's any sexual attraction that usually comes a bit later. There have been one or two occasions in my past where I've fallen for a guy instead of a girl this way and my gaydar has always gone off from subtle things like eye contact and so forth. A few years later, one of those guys did come out as gay. In this case I just get the gut feeling that my crush is gay or bi and is yet to fully explore or accept it.

We're not working together at the moment and although we are staying in touch by text it is usually me who texts first, but not always. Sometimes how he texts comes across as a bit camp and he likes emoticons. Since I last saw him I have had no indication that he is keen to see me anytime soon. He's either not gay or interested or maybe he has some issues he is trying to work out. Several times we were together he went quiet and it looked like he had a lot on his mind but he would always tell me he was just tired.

It feels like I'm trying to put a puzzle together here because I am prepared to come out to him next time we meet if the moment is right but I'd just like some more clues before telling him I like him and he's the reason for my current orientation in case it back fires and even ruins our friendship and I don't want that. He is quite a bit younger than me but our friendship isn't affected by that. I want to let him know that I'm here for him if he has things he wants to talk about but I don't want to pressure him either.

I know it's very difficult but some thoughts about whether you think my friend is bi/gay and how best to proceed would be helpful. I'm so in love with this guy. It just feels right when we are together and I don't want to lose an opportunity for happiness.

 

Thank you for your comments guys. I have already told this guy (after a minor falling out) that I "care a lot about him" and that I'd never do anything to hurt him. I told him I "liked" him and he told me he "likes me too". Course I could be reading too much into that.

He's definitely not a homophobe as he has a good friend who is lesbian. I'm not sure how I'd ever find a way to bring gay rights into a conversation to be honest. I do remember we were choosing an internet film to watch together on a night off and he read out the genres including G&L. Surely if he were 100 percent straight he would have skipped that genre!?

He does not live locally so our contact at the moment is only by internet or phone. I am finding it difficult to think of a way of finding out if he is possibly having a hard time working things out for himself. I want to be there for him. Maybe he's still getting over the breakup with his ex gf. I get the feeling that happened because he realised he wasn't being entirely honest with himself or her but I have no proof because he's never discussed that and I never found an opportunity to ask him why they split up.