Hi everyone! Just a few hours ago, my sister came out to me as "not straight." I've been thinking about it, and I feel really conflicted. On one hand, I'm incredably proud of her for having the courage to tell me and come to terms with this identity for herself. However, I've stuggled a lot with my own identity, and I feel proud of myself as a lesbian. This is who I am. I am finally my own person, not trying to be like everyone else. I feel like my sister comming out makes me more like her. It is hard to carve out an identity, and now I feel like mine means less now that the person I'm closest to shares such a big part of it. Any advice? Thank you all, and I hope you're having a wonderful day Metoo.
I certainly understand where you are coming from and what you mean, however if you were both straight and got married to men and had kids, would you still then feel you didn't have your own identity or is it because you being a lesbian set you aside and made you extremely different then your sibling? I think you need to look at it as the 'glass half full', rather then 'glass half empty'. Perhaps you need to choose to look at the positives instead of the negatives... It could bring you closer together because you both know what the other is going through. Try not to resent her for coming out, as you know yourself, it was probably a really hard thing for her to come to terms with and to come out to you and I think you just need to be there for her and support her right now, and try not to make her feel bad for coming out, like she has placed a huge burden on you otherwise it could make you both feel distanced from each other. I think just take some time, and process the news but don't try to be negative in front of her as you don't want to give her the idea it's okay for you to be a lesbian, but not her.
Maybe you just feel special and your sister is taking some specialness away from you. I think the main thing is to seriously consider if it's really the orientation you're upset about or maybe some other aspects like sibling rivalry (i.e. maybe she's the favorite of your parents or somehow "better" in a different way).
Going to be harsh here: Sexuality isn't a game, it's a part of someone's identity. Her identity doesn't make yours any less valid. Lets say you and her have the same colour eyes; are you mad at her for taking away the individuality of the colour? I'm not trying to be a douche, but it honestly makes me mad that she's not getting 100% of your support, especially since you should know how difficult sharing something like that is. My advice? Go back to your sister, appreciate her trust in you, and realize "Hey, badass, now we can talk about girls together"
