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How do I get to know my crush better?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by EpicConfusion, Nov 9, 2014.

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  1. EpicConfusion

    EpicConfusion
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    We have both expressed our interest in each other, so I'm not sure that counts as a crush, but we're not really bf/bf so I don't know what to call it. Our relationship is pretty complicated because we've only been able to see each other one time in the time we've been talking which is about 3 weeks to a month. The reason for this is that his Dad and step mother whom he lives with don't exactly approve of his sexuality and have expressly stated that he may not have a boyfriend. We don't go to the same school, and he is very involved in swimming and skiing so has a very busy schedule so we don't get to talk much. The first weekend we started texting he didn't have any sports events so we got to talk a lot and we really hit it off. We went and had coffee that following weekend, and it went well. These past few weeks it's been really hard to further our relationship since he has been so busy at big swim meets. I'm getting the feeling that he is annoyed by how often I text him now because he used to talk a lot, but now he won't answer me very often or text me first even though just a week or two ago he was really excited to do just that.

    Should I just leave him be and wait for him to text me? Should I ask him if I'm annoying or if he still likes me? How can I engage him in conversation and get him to open up to me so we can get to know one another? Swimming is basically over after this weekend so maybe he will have more time to talk.
     
    #1 EpicConfusion, Nov 9, 2014
  2. RalphHenry

    RalphHenry Guest

    If he's not answering, then you can try not texting him until he texts you. If it's really bugging you that much, then be very frank with him. Ask him what's going on. I would suggest the former, over the latter. Keep in mind that his parents might be on to you two and not letting him speak to some people.
     
    #2 RalphHenry, Nov 9, 2014
  3. EpicConfusion

    EpicConfusion
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    Thanks for the advice RalphHenry! I've basically been doing that, and he hasn't talked to me at all since last Thursday. I think I will ask him what's going on this weekend. His parents being scrutinizing is a valid point, but I'm not sure what to do in that kind of situation.
     
    #3 EpicConfusion, Nov 12, 2014
  4. kindy14

    kindy14 Guest

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    I moved mine into the hotel room next to me when I separated from my wife last week. We've def. gotten to know one another better.

    But, I don't think that will help in your case... :grin:

    Stop obsessing, and texting constantly, it's not attractive. That's what my crush has said to me. I just worry when I don't hear from him, but that is more my anxiety, then any lack of trust for him.

    Wait until swimming is over and then text him, "Hey are we still friends?" or maybe go see his last meet?
     
    #4 kindy14, Nov 13, 2014
  5. shinji

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    Sorry, don't have any input to give you... because, as strange as it might sound. I'm actually in the exact same position as you, right now.

    So, hoping for someone to dish out a good idea.

    As for "simply stop talking to him", i personally don't advise you to do that, you must be committed (both of you) for a relationship to work.
     
    #5 shinji, Nov 13, 2014
  6. EpicConfusion

    EpicConfusion
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    I wanted to go to one of his meets, but I he told me not to because his step-mom was going to be there and he's not even allowed to have male friends. I've basically decided to give up now because I asked him why he didn't want to talk to me anymore, and he said I was being rude. It's painfully obvious that he does not want to talk to me, so I'm not going to bother him anymore.
     
    #6 EpicConfusion, Nov 14, 2014
  7. bwayinabox

    bwayinabox
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    Hey dear! Yea I know it's hard but all I can say is that you should be yourself. Be best friends! If you try too hard it'll come off as a bit fake. Then you'll get to know each ofher's true sides and maybe you'll go forward from there! :slight_smile:

    ---------- Post added 14th Nov 2014 at 10:07 PM ----------

    And I'm sure he doesn't find you annoying. It's just that his mum is causing him to get really stressed. Trust me, he's not mad at you :slight_smile:
     
    #7 bwayinabox, Nov 14, 2014
  8. kindy14

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    If his step-mom is keeping him from having any male friends, I really feel sorry for him

    I'd just tell him you are there if he ever needs to talk. Leave it at that. Till he's out of that he's always going to be hesitant
     
    #8 kindy14, Nov 15, 2014
  9. EpicConfusion

    EpicConfusion
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    That's a good idea. I'm just going to focus on other things for now so I don't get too stressed.
     
    #9 EpicConfusion, Nov 16, 2014
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