so i'm gay(duh) and my bestfriend is straight, though i don't believe that ANYONE is 100% gay or straight, we've been best friends since well for him it would be since 7th/8th grade(we've been friends even before that) but for me after realising i was his bestfriend which was in 9/10th grade whatever doesn't matter. so anyways, the thing is, we're in that situation of life where we are keeping away from everybody and accepting the fact that we have no friends lol. its like we don't have anyone besides eachother, we hardly contact anyone. he is a very realist person and doesn't like dating and i think even has 0 fucks to give. he had his very first girlfriend just last year but they brokeup. me on the other hand, has TONS of crushes on people still don't like to act upon it and doesn't like dating as well(no relationship so far) but admittedly been a desperate kid on my past haha. no we're not asexuals. moving on, so we happen to talk on the phone every single day for hours and reasons are boredom, new gossips and sometimes just like that. i don't know about anyone else but whenever i have to go out or do anything alone i usually like talking on the phone so that i could feel like i have company(i have this crowdphobia thing) and its him that i call which he has no problems with and vice versa. ok so as bestfriends we know everything about eachother and many people(or say friends) seem to know about it too. so THE PROBLEM IS, a lot of them think we have something going on in between. i've made it clear to my friends that there is nothing between us and to prove my point i've even said i don't find him sexually attractive(true but). infact, a few of them suspects that my STRAIGHT bestfriend might soon fall for me. isn't this strange, them thinking it might happen the other way around? umm maybe its because people know that i have 0 interest in straight guys and also when i friendzone someone i can never picture them as a lover. or maybe because they know that he is an introvert and doesn't date and therefore might eventually fall for me. i keep telling my friends to stop when they revolve around this particular subject because i knew it would endup me thinking over it and yes it did. and now i'm having these thoughts that whatever they're suspecting could be true? i sincerely don't want him to fall for me because honestly it would be a "no". just the slightest thought of me ending up with him disgusts me(sounds horrible but you know what i mean). i'm starting to take his every action into notice and listening to everything he has to say about me and to be honest i'm starting to feel like he IS infact falling for me. because the last time i took notice he said these stuff, stuff like,"i can't seem to open up to anyone as i do to you" or "you know, now i realise that one can never love someone by force cause it just happens" and also everything in his future starts with us together which i didn't care about until now. and it gets awkward, when i talk about guys i'm crushing on he gets all quiet but that can be because he's maybe uncomfortable talking about guys that way. just today when he called me up and we were talking and soon as usual we went blank. he started humming a song and then i wanting to kill the awkward pause started talking about a video which he didn't respond to and i got mad and yelled at him,"if you don't have anything to say and you don't want to listen then stop calling me just like that". it was way awkward but soon it became ok. i felt bad though. he never yells at me, never did. i know its very rare and a lot of you probably want this but believe me, even i thought it was amazing reading all those straight-gay love experiences up until now. YES it would be amazing if the feelings are mutual from both sides. your thoughts?? and i hope my english was understandable
