My best friend kissed me , and i kissed him back . I should have stopped instead . I don't why exactly , but it bothers me as hell that we kissed . Let me start from the beginning , I and my best friend met 2 years ago , or more . Anyway , we are close friends ..... our friendship means a lot to me . Months ago ,I read the moment wrong and kissed him . He was in closet at that time , we created a distance between each other until he came and suggested a new start . I knew at that moment that i have to control my feelings not to fall for him anymore . When he came out to me around 2 or 3 months ago , we agreed that we should only stay best friends and nothing more . That was for our best . I've been through a lot in my life so far , i don't want to live any more dramas . I admit , i have feelings for him . I can't just turn them off , however i never showed him any sign for that . Ever since we got our friendship on the tract , i learned how to avoid my feelings . But last night , when he kissed me ... i don't know why but i went for it and that was wrong . Am i here for advice ? I don't know , i'm just lost.
He clearly has feelings for you and you have feeling for him. What is the reason for you keep turning off your feelings? are you worried about losing a friend? Is it the intolerant country you live? It looks like he certainly is interested in being more than friends, would you not want to explore more with him?
Because friendship is much better , eventually i'll have to leave this place and go to the states to complete my study ...so i don't want things between us to get complicated . This will make it easy for both of us . The intolerant here is something i can deal with at least right now , not to mention that my friend is Muslim ... so cultural issues is present too . He is only out to me , and the fact that there are no out gays here , makes me think that he only wants me because i'm the only one who is available . Exploring things with him ! I don't think so , i mean .... Well, I've never been with a guy , friendship is the ultimate level i'm looking for .
I know what you talking about and just know one thing never let a guy in the closet in that kind of country to have feelings for you because just like you said he trust no one but you on this and for that he wants to expermient because he cant let people know about him your the only one avilable Also another point your not staying in the country he would just be hurt if things between you got more than just friends so hurt him now and tell him the truth at least he might get over the feelings or control them better than leaving him hurt
