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Professing feelings

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Deuterium, Nov 10, 2014.

  1. Deuterium

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    I have this friend who was mentioned in a previous thread (So... I have this friend). He may or may not be gay or bi, but I've seriously been considering telling him how I feel. He's all a think about and I've only literally dreamed more than once of him coming out to me. Sometimes when I think about him, I forget that the love is gay, and I just feel it like any other. The other day I was thinking, and although I more-than-obviously know this, it hit me... We're both guys and this love is gay.
    Anyway, how could I go about telling him. Sometimes I think he may like guys, but needs to be "kicked" by someone else making the first move in the game of relationships.
    So... Now for the outcomes I've considered:
    He accepts me and that's it
    He accepts me and tells me a little something we go from there
    He accepts me but goes all preachy on me
    He ends any relationship we ever did have (which isn't likely AT ALL)

    So how should I go about it. I would obviously like to retract anything I say if it doesn't go my way, but that clearly isn't possible. Thanks you guys!
     
  2. Nychthemeron

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    Hey, Deuterium (nice name, by the way) -

    You could confess as you would confess if it were a straight relationship, because, if he's accepting of you being gay, it wouldn't really be much different.

    Or you can maybe you can "jokingly" confess. If it doesn't go well, you can pass it off as a joke.

    Hopefully the last outcome doesn't ever come true, although, you did say it was unlikely. So that's great. :slight_smile:

    Good luck!
     
  3. shinji

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    Don't.

    Coming out to someone and confessing your feelings for them, should happen on separate occasions.

    The "confessing feelings" part tends to put stress on the person you are confessing to, since they have to make their "move" on the spot, and it's sometimes (often) not what they might really think on the subject.

    Obviously you could be direct, and do the whole "oops i didn't mean it, my French is bad" strategy, but i'd personally go for a more "become close friends, drop a ton of hints and just "casually" mention it some time" strategy.

    The bigger the deal you make out of this, the stronger his reaction would be, regardless if it's positive or negative.
     
  4. Deuterium

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    I think I actually forgot to mention that the only people that know I may be bi is my lesbian-best-friend (I like that....) and a gay friend, who both just naturally picked up on a few things.