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Soulmates?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Uncommon, Nov 11, 2014.

  1. Uncommon

    Regular Member

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    Hi!

    I'm a newbie here, nice to meet you all! The thing is, I didn't know where else to come or who else to talk to (I did talk to a couple of my friends, but I guess I felt the need to share this issue with someone else in order to get a better point of view.).

    Okay so...

    I've been openly gay for some months now. I'm 23 and I've never had a boyfriend. I don't know if it's something about me or about them, but somehow, I just can't seem to find anyone. I'm not an outgoing person, I'm naturally shy and it takes a lot of time for me to get closer to another person (even while trying to make friends, not to mention something else). I have moved abroad alone a year and a half ago and I thought that moving away, getting to become more independent and simply - living my own life will make it easier for me to let myself go and find someone, but...it's been a year and a half and nothing happened. The thing is, the only guy I've ever truly felt attracted to is a guy who went to college with me in my home country. We were classmates, but we've never been close, not even in a friendly way. We were so similar and we kind of "liked" each other, we used to "tease" each other in a sarcastic way because we both were, you know, "haters". I've always felt good in his presence, although we've only talked for like 3 times in 3 years, but somehow, we never got to the point of becoming something more than colleagues. I've been thinking a lot about him, then and now, and many people told me that they noticed so many similarities between us. We were raised in the same town, but I didn't know him until we started college. Our high schools were divided by a single street and who knows how many times have we actually "met", but we didn't know about each other. In college, we both were really good students and we were always "competing", but there was no any negative energy about it.

    After 3 years of college, I moved away abroad, and he did the same. I moved to one side of Europe, and he moved to another. I haven't seen him for ages, and I really...well, miss him. I cannot stop thinking about him, he's all I've got in my mind. I keep looking at his Facebook profile (although we're not friends even there), reading his sentences and almost hearing the sound of his voice while doing it. I've realised that I've been thinking about him all the time since I moved away, but I guess I wasn't aware of that until a few days ago.

    He literally does the same things I do. It's hard to put in in words now, because all those things might seem irrelevant, but I'm really frustrated because I have a strong feeling that he's just...the same as me! And I don't even know if he's aware of that, and I have no idea what to do. I really started thinking that he might be my soulmate, but then again...what if I'm not his?

    Do you even believe in soulmates and how do you know if you found them? I really don't know how on Earth is it possible to think about someone for so long and so often when you haven't even been friends with that person?

    It's just that, I cannot even think about any other guy because of him. I only think about him. All the time. For a year and a half. Well, even longer if I count the time before moving abroad.

    :icon_sad:
     
  2. jay777

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    Well what would you picture from a contact ? A friendship ?
     
  3. Kaiken

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    The only reason I don't believe in soul mates is because it breeds malcontent. Soul mate implies that there is only one person that is the true fit for you. You could spend your whole life looking for that one person and turn away a lot of people that would have been a really great fit for you. And then if you find that one person and they are not absolutely perfect you think, "ok, they obviously are not my soul mate." and you move on.

    I do believe that people can be so deeply connected and perfect for each other, I just don like to classify it as a "soul mate." Jus be careful that you don't fall into this trap. It will lead to a life of loneliness.