Background: So I've been in a committed relationship with my gf for like 4 years now (mostly long distance too). I've even gave her a promise ring 2 years ago. And I'm almost completely out of the closet (still not to good with expressing it in public though). Meaning my friends/family know and have met my gf. I figured out I was gay cuz I fell in love with my best friend and together we spent years trying to figure out our feelings. I've never dated anyone other than her. I've never realized I had crushes on girls either, and all my "crushes" on guys were just me picking a random guy to tell my friends I liked and never pursuing it. Now that my eyes have been open finally, I've realized I'm attracted to a lot of my female friends and have been for years. Problem: Anyway, my point is I'm now slightly conflicted because I realized I currently have a crush on one of my best friends. And I find myself wondering what I would be like to try a relationship with her. She's straight, and having relationship problems. I've been talking to her alot about her current relationship and giving advice. Last night she was saying how she thinks she would never find another guy, and I almost told her my feelings for her... She also has only ever dated the one guy (for 7 years long distance). I'm totally in love with my girl friend, and am dreaming of next fall when we move in together finally! But I can't control my mind and my thoughts about this other girl. Its ridiculous to ever think she would date me, and ridiculous to ever think about leaving the woman I love for another women whom I might like. How do I control my thoughts and words and temptations?? Would it be a totally horrible idea to tell her that "In an alternate universe I would be interested in dating you, if things didn't work out" (just as an example that there really are people out there that are attracted to her and like her)?? I kinda already told her that she really is attractive and hinted at my reasoning being that I'm attracted to her.
Has this girl given you any indication that she might be bisexual or lesbian? If not, I'm a little concerned she won't be able to reciprocate your feelings. What would you like to happen if you told her that you were attracted to her? If she's straight, as she says, it may make things a bit awkward between you two. If she says she's attracted to you too, that's certainly going to change things in your current relationship. My instinct is to say that if you love your girlfriend as much as you say, perhaps you shouldn't jeopardize your 4 year relationship for something that potentially has no future. However, you know them and your own feelings better than anyone, so I'm not going to pass judgement! Don't feel bad about developing a crush, these things happen. Especially in long term relationships, when it can get really lonely some times. My advice is to weigh up the risks and rewards before you say or act on anything. It sounds like a difficult situation- I hope it works out for you, whatever happens! (*hug*)
