So here we are again dear reader. Please stay with your humble narrator, your solidarity is really all I have at present. To summarise: still painfully single both romantically and sexually, still crippled by the awful conjunction of an utterly heinous physical appearance and the corresponding level of self confidence, still eclipsed by my peers in all things romantic and sexual with another "better class" of participant fast approaching in my rear-view mirror. Anyone who has had the good sense in the past to disentangle themselves from this human train wreck has since moved on to better things, allowing me to live vicariously through social media. I am alone and I hate every second of It. Please forgive my verbosity, my verbal skill is the only one for which I am given due credit. All other compliments are, in the words of Shakespeare, "sound and fury, signifying nothing." Again, I don't know what I need other than someone to make me ok. My memories of past undeserved (I was punching above my weight) happiness taunt me and the prospects of my future torment me with more unrealised dreams, unfulfilled desires and the prospect of propping up some awful bar somewhere while i wait for a person whom I do not deserve as I slowly decay into further irrelevance. The past is pointless and the future is hopeless. I suppose some more of the solidarity I have been offered on this site would be nice. Someone to tell me, unlikely as it is, that it won't be so bad as I march, goose-stepped by my own awfulness, into my 30's, 40's, 50's, 60's and beyond. I just hope that until my veil of tears has been drawn over my face for good that I am thrown at least the occasional tuppeny and conciliatory "fuck" by an uncaring stranger. If even to occasionally feel the warmth of human contact Surely even I deserve this much?
