Help with a crush on a (maybe?) straight person?

I've known and been best friends with this girl ever since I was 6 and she was 7. Around the age of 11 or 12 I started developing a crush on her. I was very much a Christian at the time, so I told myself that I shouldn't feel that way about her, and repressed my sexuality, convincing myself that I was straight.

Around the age of 16 (after I announced my atheism), we both started to become more sure of ourselves and our sexualities. I was demisexual panromantic, and she was asexual and then either aromantic or heteroromantic. When I embraced my sexuality, my crush quickly returned, but much more forcefully. I was (and am) in love with her. I mentioned that I used to have a crush on her, but said nothing about still being in love with her. I accepted that we could never be in a relationship and tried to let go. After all, I want her to be happy, and if that isn't with me, that's okay.

Today, she told me that she wasn't sure about being aromantic, or even heteroromantic. She's now trying to decide whether she's demiromantic or panromantic (or maybe both, if that's possible). She also told me that she had a crush on me before, the exact same thing I told her.

So, now the question stands: does she feel the same way? If she's panromantic, then it's not completely impossible. She could have been saying that she used to have a crush on me so as not to make me uncomfortable, like I was doing with her. Should I tell her that the crush is still there?

On one hand, I know that it wouldn't really be fair to myself not to take a chance, but on the other, it wouldn't be fair to tell her something that might make her uncomfortable, and I don't want to ruin our friendship.

I'm pretty sure that if she feels the same way as me for as long as I have, a relationship between us could work out. We've been friends through thick and thin, through long distances and depression and differences in religion. I'm pretty sure that if our friendship could work out through that, a romantic relationship would, too, since that's all a relationship is, right? An intense friendship with kisses?

If I do decide to tell her, how should I? She's visiting next week for Thanksgiving. I could tell her in person then. But should I tell her near the beginning of the week, so if the feeling is mutual, we have more time to decide whether we want to be girlfriends and when to tell family, etc, or near the end of the week so if the feeling isn't mutual she has time to process it before seeing me again? Or should I just send her a heartfelt Facebook message since that would be a lot easier?

I don't know what I'm doing here. Someone help! I'm sorry it was so long...

 

I don't know if I'm going to tell her yet... I have about a week before she comes home to decide. I'm worried that if I tell her, It'll cause a rift in the friendship, and I'd rather be her friend than her nothing, but what if she does feel the same way?

 

So I think I'm going to do it when she comes down this weekend. I'll wait until late at night because we'll be having a sleepover and then teasingly be all, "So you used to have a crush on me?" and then be all, "How old were you? For how long was it?" AND HOPE THAT SHE'LL TELL ME FIRST BUT IF NOT... she'll probably ask the same thing and I'll just say that it started when it was about 11 and I'm not sure if it ever went away and then see how she reacts.

She keeps talking about a boy, though, and saying that she's concerned about how she feels about him? But even if she chooses him over me (or herself over both of us) I can still be her friend. She deserves to know how I feel about her. I deserve to know if she feels the same way about me. I think I'd rather take the chance than wonder "what if".

So, I think that's what I'm going to do unless I chicken out.

 

I've figured out how I'll react to both verdicts... if she doesn't like me back, I'll make a Cardcaptor Sakura joke and laugh it off. If she does, then we can figure out if we want to be girlfriends or if we just want to be mutual romantic interests.