Gah well, I doubt there is anything I can really do about this, but I thought maybe I would get more word from you guys. I have a very wonderful boyfriend who treats me like a king and I love it. But he lives 9 hours away :/ and because of that, we can exactly do anything, well, sexual... And overtime the want for that has grown and I would really like to do it, even just one time while we can't physically be together. I tried talking to him about it and explained he could do it too so we both could feel something once and back to us haha, but he wasn't fond of the idea (understandably). So unless you guys have any other idea, I'll just suck it up and wait to meet him because I'm not a cheater haha. Thanks, Jake
If I were you I would stick with masturbation and not cheat . This is one of the reasons I don't like long distance relationships, because I get horny as hell too .
Yeah I understand, and I wanted to clarify again that I will never cheat. Even if there is no solution, I will wait as long as I need
I think it has shown courage for you to admit it has been something you have been thinking of and I think it is admirable that you spoke to him about that as well. I think it probably is best you stick to pleasing yourself for now if you really wish to stay true to him.
Yeah, long distance relationships can suck... and it is very admirable, both your desire to stay faithful, and your talking about it to him. I think it shows the nobility of your character. I'm in a pickle right now. Separated from wife of 21 years, and now roommates with the guy I want to have a relationship with. I don't want to cheat on my wife, only have done that once in 21 years. I HAVE NEEDS but I don't want to make someone I want a LTR with a fling, or mistress. And it's to soon to trust my heart completely. So, despite wanting to hookup and have promiscuous sex with some random hot guy, it just isn't me. Never has been. I don't want my bae to loose respect for me either. I can manage with out the physical intimacy for now, because I know having it with my special guy when I am totally free will be better than trying to do it now.
Sounds like you need to access what is important to you given where you are in life. Put aside the "not wanting to cheat" approach you are taking, as that is, while admirable, only hiding a potential underlying issue - which is - Are you ready to be in a committed relationship? There is nothing wrong with wanting to prioritize sex over a relationship at your age. And to the extent your relationship allows for the sexual activity you seek, then that is great. To the extent the relationship does not permit it, given the distance involve, or the lack of openness on the part of your boyfriend, are you truly being honest with yourself as to what is important to you? In the long run, that may create a wedge in your relationship and cause issues down the road nonetheless. Sorry if I am not being politically correct with this comment, but it is how I see it based on what your saying.
I understand completely! And yes, I'm okay with committing so much to him. Despite my age, I feel it is the right decision and I plan on not "hooking up" with anyone else against his wants, even if I want it really bad
You asked for opinions, here is mine... Romance and a loving relationship are wonderful things. To treat each other right, to be honest are the basic foundations. After all it's about two human beings that want to stay together for a long time, or at least that is the idea... Still you should also listen to your own needs. I don't know you personally, and therefore I have no idea if you have had a lot of experience or not, but there is a normal, healthy wish of having more than one sexual partner. I don't think that this wish means that you have less love for your partner. Sex and love are different things. You said, you've talked to him, and he doesn't want an open relationship. What about you? After all you deserve also to be heard and listened to. I've heard of people cheating on their partners and telling them afterwards. In some cases, it was an awful idea, because they lost their partner. In other cases, the parts involved were able to deal with it, and their relationship became stronger. And of course, the third case, the one who cheated and the partner never knew... Which is an option too. It depends on the people involved, their characters and expectations. I don't think that a one night stand should be a valid reason for a break-up, but to each their own... (And if it happens, don't forget to take precautions!)
My girlfriend lives 10 hours away, so, I understand. Last month, I had THE perfect opportunity to cheat, I was sleeping over at a friend's house (she's always had a crush on me) and she tried to have sex with me, THANK GOD I COULD CONTROLE MYSELF. I know the feeling, it's amolst unbearable, but if you really love him, you can do it. I met my girlfriend last week (after 10 months without seeing each other) and we talked about it and made it up. Long distance relationships are a pain in the ass, but when you can see the person, hug them and kiss them, it's all worth it.
