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I just don't know. Need help...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by The SlytherPuff, Nov 17, 2014.

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  1. The SlytherPuff

    The SlytherPuff
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    I've been bisexual since I was 16 (7 years ago, wow it's been that long?) and I was really ok and comfortable with myself at first. I felt no need to hide it. I had come out to my parents and things got really bad. I was pressured to ignore a majority of who I was sexually to placate them. (I know, that's nuts and it was a mistake, but the conservative Christian household was making my life rather hellish) I was prodded into a relationship with a guy, who I'm now married to. I told him about my sexuality, but he ignored it and pretends it's not real. I didn't have a problem in the beginning of our relationship, mostly, I managed to kill the urges for relationships with women. Now, I find myself completely unattracted to him and I miss being able to be open about my sexuality. I miss being with a woman. I don't want to hurt him, but I don't know what to do. I've hidden this part of me for so long, it's corroding. I've been having multiple anxiety and panic attacks over this A DAY.
     
    #1 The SlytherPuff, Nov 17, 2014
  2. jay777

    jay777
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    You should look for counseling immediately, imo.

    There are quite a few others who have similar experiences, so you are not alone. This alone might help.
    It might help to communicate with others, through the board or through wall messages...

    You might have a look here:
    http://emptyclosets.com/forum/lgbt-later-life/155445-my-trigger-crush-friends.html#17

    You might think about going to a lgbt center... maybe there are support groups, or events...


    (*hug*)
     
    #2 jay777, Nov 18, 2014
  3. PositivelyMe

    PositivelyMe
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    I agree with the above poster, and I also think you should look for supportive friends who can hear you out and help you work out your thoughts.
     
    #3 PositivelyMe, Nov 18, 2014
  4. The SlytherPuff

    The SlytherPuff
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    Thanks for your help, guys. I opened up to my husband and he decided that it's probably better off if we separate. It's not helping my anxiety, but the relationship would just be getting more and more toxic as time went on. I'm working on financial independence and figuring out the next step. I'm letting him decide what to tell his family (and mine, as they're going to disown me for this.)

    Starting fresh.
     
    #4 The SlytherPuff, Nov 19, 2014
  5. PositivelyMe

    PositivelyMe
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    Good luck. This isn't going to be an easy time, but you're strong and you can handle this. Make sure you're spending time with those who support you-it's completely natural to be upset and need to talk through this.

    I believe in you!
     
    #5 PositivelyMe, Nov 19, 2014
  6. XingSarangBi

    XingSarangBi Guest

    Its sad sometimes..that the people we love or the people that matter..choose to "abandon" us but sometimes they're not entirely at fault.. religion specially can be dominating and scary and influential..so, we must forgive them :slight_smile: but we can not let them ruin our lives.. I can not believe you even put up with this so far.... I'm glad you're taking this step :slight_smile: Good luck :slight_smile: live your own life for a change :slight_smile:(*hug*)
     
    #6 XingSarangBi, Nov 19, 2014
  7. The SlytherPuff

    The SlytherPuff
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    I just wanted to update: I am the happiest I have ever been. I am honestly glowing :slight_smile: I told my sister (who is my best friend) and she was just so wonderful and accepting and promised that when I tell my parents, she'll be there for support.

    I feel about 1000 lbs lighter today than I have for a loooong time! so happy :slight_smile:
     
    #7 The SlytherPuff, Nov 21, 2014
  8. jay777

    jay777
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    Congratulations (*hug*)(&&&)
     
    #8 jay777, Nov 21, 2014
  9. PatrickUK

    PatrickUK
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    Absolutely fabulous :grin: The support of your Sister is something you can't beat. To know that she is there for you, no matter what, will make the next step that bit easier.
     
    #9 PatrickUK, Nov 21, 2014
  10. I am Kakashi

    I am Kakashi
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    Having a positive coing out story is so elating!! Con...gratulations? Although i'm sorry about the spouse situation. Hopefully you will find family and friends to support you.
     
    #10 I am Kakashi, Nov 22, 2014
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