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My friend's mother is really abusive, I don't know what to do.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by MtnFr3sh, Nov 17, 2014.

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  1. MtnFr3sh

    MtnFr3sh
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    Okay, she's made jokes about it before. I thought this was just her personality, because she's a person with a dark sense of humor, much like my own.

    She's the same girl that had a crush on me, and told me she did after I came out to her. So, now's a sensitive time, I want to be really supportive, but I'm afraid she'd take it the wrong way. I haven't known her for even six months, but I consider her a real friend.

    Anyway. She messaged me on facebook asking if I wanted to have a pokemon battle online (we had been planning on it.) Then, she said she was kidding, and sent me a picture of her 3DS, her mother broke it in half, AFTER she ripped a chunk of her hair out.

    I tried to tell her that this wasn't okay, and it's never okay. She told me she's used to it, she got used to it when she was 5. And, I don't really know what to do in this situation. I WOULD talk to my mom and ask for her advise, but, by law, since she's a teacher, she's required to report any cases of child abuse. Which is totally justified, but, I don't want to be too hasty, because you hear all the time how things suddenly turn around for the 20 minutes the social worker is there, then, they beat the living shit out of their kid, thinking they told somebody.

    She acts like it's no big deal at all! And I get it, it's because she grew up like that. She'll crack a joke, and move on. So, I honestly don't know if she's truly scared, or anything. She acts as though it's a fact of life that she has to deal with. She gets pissed when it happens but then moves on. And to be honest, I think she, well, cuts herself. I've seen the scars...

    I'm scared for her, I'm concerned, and I don't know what to do. :help::help:
     
    #1 MtnFr3sh, Nov 17, 2014
    Last edited: Nov 17, 2014
  2. Clay

    Clay
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    I'd tell your mum. Better to do something that do nothing.
     
    #2 Clay, Nov 17, 2014
  3. lb41974

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    I think that I would have to either tell your mom or even call the police ! NOBODY and I mean NOBODY deserves to be treated that way. I would not wait a min longer ,I would tell them that you fear for the safety of you friend and you are afraid that she will get beat once the police leave and see if they can remove her from the home ! I wish you the best of luck with this decision .Please let us know what happens
     
    #3 lb41974, Nov 17, 2014
  4. Aussie792

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    Police or child protection agencies might be the best option. Just be aware that doing that might be irreversible, and the consequences can be pretty severe on the victims of abuse when their abuser finds out they let slip the horrible secret they were supposed to keep.

    If you do so, I would recommend also making clear the severity of the abuse; it might be misunderstood if the authorities were to think it a lesser case.

    Also, what seems like a side comment about it can be much more deliberate. To admit such a thing is often immensely difficult; those instances in which she's told you what's happening might have been really carefully thought-out and a call for help.
     
    #4 Aussie792, Nov 18, 2014
  5. HeavyHeart

    HeavyHeart
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    This is a very tough situation. Your friend is very fortunate to have someone like you that cares so much about what's going on. I work at a domestic violence shelter in wisconsin, and my job is working with kids and youth. My suggestion to you would be find out your local domestic violence shelter or crisis agency and find out what services they offer and can help with. Suggest to your friend to speak with someone there (some agencies are mandated reporters like teachers, but some are not, I would ask), they can help your friend work out what is going on and lead them to different options of how to proceed. Most importantly, they can be there for extra support and find ways to keep your friend safe above all else. If you think your friend might be in immediate danger, definitely call 911. Their safety is the most important thing.
     
    #5 HeavyHeart, Nov 22, 2014
  6. David21201

    David21201
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    ok im on your end with this. (samething w/ my mom too)
    My gf's parents are like this (both are!). When I found out I offered for my place to be a safe haven. This was before we were even together. I once stayed over and her parents WERE FUCKING HORRID to her IN FRONT OFF ME.
    We're trying to get her out of her house...
    I'd tell your mom...like I need to do.
    Talk about bringing her into your home maybe
     
    #6 David21201, Nov 22, 2014
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