For three weeks now, I've been dating a genderfluid person (female body), but they asked me out after getting a crush on me. We've been on a few dates, and have made out intimately several times, but I've realized that we have very little in common. When I voiced that to them, they told me that they didn't have common interests with many people they have dated. This made me feel bad for thinking that we wouldn't work together. I, of course, already knew that our relationship would never lead to marriage from the moment they asked me out, but I don't know if I should break up with them. They've acted quite insecure and acted worried about me not being happy with them, which only made me want to reassure them that I liked them. This is my first real datefriend and I don't want to do anything wrong. Should I stay with them longer and see if we can find anything in common between us, or should I break up? And, if the latter, how? Any help would be great!
Hi, I don't know if I'm the best to advise but I feel like I'm in a similar situation but on the other end. This guy and I hit it off at first and liked each other's personailities, but latley we've sort of hung out and we didn't really have much in common to talk about so we just watched TV. They've changed their attitude a bit with me (but also reassuring me they like me). The thing is, you might think you are helping us by telling us this but if you really don't think it will work, just tell us. Of course this could just be me, but I'd rather know the truth so that I can move on and not to get too invested and get my heart broken. There's nothing worse than being with someone who you think is into you and then have them just ignore you or start noticing how they get distant. Of course, they might feel different but you can stop the emotions that are going and that will be more hurtful when you finally do tell them.
Best thing to do is be honest. You voiced a concern, then they said that similar things had happened in their last relationships. Those relationships ended, see the pattern? : / I'd try to make a quick and clean break before either of you gets too emotionally invested.
You need to be true to yourself. the relationship is in a very early stage, if you already have strong doubts, which it sounds like you do, its ok to be honest. And as others said, best to be honest.
It depends on what you expect from the relationship, and from that person. A break up doesn't mean you can't still be friends, or even have sex together. You can also simply put some distance and see how this person reacts. When there is genuine interest for the other person as a human being, the quality of relationship shouldn't be affected. It's up to you... As long as you feel comfortable with them, I'd say try to put some distance and see what happens.
Oh, geez... I met them at the mall today and they said they had a nightmare that I broke up with them. *hides face* I already know that there will never be anything more between us, and I just want to be friends, but they've been acting so insecure and afraid of doing something wrong that I feel awful. What am I supposed to do?!
Sounds like they were attempting to gauge if you were going to break up with them. Which means they know you want to break up with them. Nobody likes to be broken up with, but sparing their feelings now, to break up with them later is going to be sooo much harder later. I'm always the dumper, not the dumpee, so I do have all the feelz for you though. But nothing you can do is going to make the relationship any better/ easier. The sooner you tell them, the sooner they can start to heal/ move on.
