Just a thread for me to type out my thoughts.. they need to come out one way or another!! Its weird, I'm in a relationship with a guy that I love, really, I do love him. But I dont know what kind of love it is. It's strange, I got together with him with certainty that I wasn't gay and I could potentially fall in love with him. And I really think I do love him, but its only when you meet people that you question yourself and wonder what you're actually feeling. So basically, I met this woman right, she's interested in business, is intelligent and is motivated. Cristina is so sweet, she's so smart and I've only known her about two weeks.. *sigh* Okay look, see this is why I don't allow myself to spend longer than I should with women, just because this is what used to happen and I should know better. Everything about her is just ah, what am I going to do with myself! Though, I know nothing can come out of it. She's about 35 (though she looks so much younger), she's married and has kids. I can't help but adore her though, she's brilliant. She's so cute, dimples and everything! She knows what she wants and she'll work hard for it. I love that in a person. I'm sure I'll get past this, I don't know how but I hope so. There's no harm in wanting but not being with a girl. Thanks EC!
Hey Chickzak! Hmm, this is a tough one! Obviously you know how you feel better than we do. I know you care deeply for your boyfriend, but I would say that maybe you should re-examine your relationship with him. You said that when you got together with him, you really weren't certain about your sexuality. Now I presume you've come to terms with your sexuality a bit more, do you think that changes things? The fact you say you don't know what kind of love you have for your boyfriend seems to indicate you're not completely sure if it's the same kind of love you experience for women. Of course you don't want to throw away your relationship for no reason, but I think it's reasonable to take another look, now that you know what you know, and seeing if the relationship is right for you both. You say there's no harm in 'wanting a girl but not being with one', but at the end of the day whatever happens - you deserve to be happy! You both do!
Aww sweet thanks for your reply! Wasnt expecting any! That's a lovely reply - its got me thinking though, you are right, its difficult and I should think about what I really want. I think deep down I love with him, he's the only guy for me but its just sometimes the way he behaves, his mood swings, his short temper sometimes.. it just gets me thinking!
