Oh man, so I'm an 18 year old female and about a year ago I met a guy online (never in real life) and was pretty excited because we had similar interests so I just assumed I was straight and I thought I liked him... and I do! Just, I don't think in that way from what I can tell. I did get nervous sometimes talking to him (which makes me wonder if I am really gay.) and I found our conversations exciting. I got a bit self-aware and crazy if I would say something I was afraid sounded stupid. But things got more intense, we built an online relationship almost, but never labeled it of course. He started getting flirty and I tried so hard to enjoy it but, I just realized that I have possibly maybe mistaken common interest and gratitude with romantically liking someone, or falling for someone. Now I have ignored them for a while because I was afraid I lead the on and it's obvious they really like me but it just freaks me out. I feel so bad and the thought of talking to him again makes me so panicky. Just wondering if I hurt him or not, it gives me a lot of guilt. And as I said, I've never met him in real life and just can't handle keeping up this online relationship, it's weird. I like real-life friendships. It creeps me out, talking to someone online, being so emotionally intimate with them and knowing I haven't met them in real life to know they're the real deal. I just don't want to talk to them. I'm afraid if I never login to talk to them again I'll end up running into them someday in real life and it'll be really weird and awkward. I feel sick. And I'm still questioning my sexuality by the way. Straight, gay, bisexual, asexual, aromantic??? Who knows.. not me! I'm just looking for advice, I have nowhere else to go.
If I was in the situation, I'd friend-zone him. Just let him know you like him, but don't LIKE like him. And if you're comfortable, tell him you are questiong your sexual and romantic orientation, and it would be better if you didn't talk for awhile while you figured it out.
wow, I have been there before! common interests, gratitude AND what used to be a persistent desire to convince myself that I was really straight after all brought me down that same road too many times. but i am who I am, so I always ended up back in the same place. One thing perhaps would be to share your orientation with him and see if it scares him away. but on the basic concerns about on-line relationships being creepy and preferring real live people (I hope I got that right!), well that is right on target. On-line relationships are dangerous because you never really know who or what you're dealing with. People can easily create any persona on line. ask any of the straight guys who found out that the hot girl they were chatting with turned out to be a guy!
I'm not even comfortable telling him I don't LIKE him. I'm just really nervous to talk to him and I don't know why (which is why I'm questioning if I'm really gay.) ---------- Post added 23rd Nov 2014 at 12:48 PM ---------- Even if we were just talking in a friendly way.... we've been talking for almost a year online... and it hasn't been casual. We've been very personal and emotionally intimate with eachother and it's something I regret doing with someone I've met over the internet, and not real life.
