Meeting Other Gay Guys(So perhaps I could get into a relationship)

This is a tough one Justinian20. The only advice I can offer, with caution, is to mention it to your friends. They might now some people who are in the same boat who are not interested in hooking up. Where I advise caution is when your friends say something like, "Hey, I know someone that's gay. You too should really meet. You'd have a lot in common. (being that you're both gay)"

That's like saying to someone that's black, "Hey, I know someone that's black! you too should really meet, being that you're both black."

Crowd-source it and see if anyone knows someone that would actually be a good fit besides their sexual orientation.

 

So I Googled "Brisbane GLBT" and came up with a good 10 resources. Are you suuuure you really looked? : / LGBT Meetups near Brisbane - Meetup and http://www.brisbane.qld.gov.au/comm...n-gay-bisexual-transgender-residents-brisbane looks legit

 

Well "Can't find them" and "not finding ones that interest you" are quite a bit different. >_> But ignoring symantics, I guess the first link was kind of niche groups. But PFLAG is very non-political, and is just a normal support/ meet and greet type group. Meetings & Events | PFLAG Brisbane - Keeping families together And during the monthly or bi-monthly mettings, they plan other less formal events. Bowling, restaurants, movies, etc. And most everyone in that group will be other groups. Ones for just gay men (usually sports but not always), and will be able to tell you which clubs are more club-like than bath house-y.

And on Facebook I found multiple groups as well
https://www.facebook.com/#!/groups/crewind/
https://www.facebook.com/#!/groups/256044244462381/
https://www.facebook.com/#!/groups/brisbanegaymen/

I'm sorry if I came off as dick-ish, it's just that seriously it took me 90 seconds to find all that. And I see "There are no groups in my area, heeeeelp me!" so much. It kinda hurts my soul that people don't just lrn2Google

 

PLFAG is most known for helping and supporting family members as well, but you don't have to drag a family member along to join or anything And I didn't join/ check out the FB groups, but since it's less formal, and more up to date, there would probably be more impromptu hanging out casual type events. I think I misread what you meant as well. But I gotcha now. I ahve been invited to or told about LGBT events and was like "Wha? That sounds lame" (obviously I just politely declined) So I have had those feelz before.

 

In my experience most cities of any size have quite a variety of organizations and clubs that one could avail oneself of if you aren't into the club scene. I've led a gay book club, worked with gay political and charitable groups, gone along with friends to watch their gay sports leagues, been to concerts with gay choirs, etc. My partner was in a gay bowling league, a gay choir and has also done volunteer work with gay organizations.

My other suggestion would be that you not dismiss the club/bar scene without at least giving it a try. I hated going to bars and clubs until I started going to gay bars and then, well, I loved it. I honestly think people on this site give a rather skewed vision of gay clubs that is frankly riddled with stereotypes. I'm not much of a drinker, I've never done any kind of party drug (never even smoked pot--or cigarettes for that matter) and I'm certainly not any kind of predator, I've got advanced degrees and a good job--I only say these things because a lot of the discussion on this site seems to indicate that any one of those things would disqualify me from participation in the club scene, but I really found the bar scene here in Chicago (and frankly all over when I have traveled) to be full of normal, nice guys who are just looking to have a nice evening. I've found people to be friendly and accepting--occasionally someone will have a layer of attitude you have to work through to get to the real person underneath (sometimes it's worth the trouble, sometimes it's not). Out in the clubs was where I met my largest group of gay friends--most of us are still good friends after twenty-some-odd years. My one suggestion is that you really have to go looking for friends not boyfriends. If you go in with the idea of finding a boyfriend directly that's when you are going to encounter the pickup culture--which can be fun too, but it sounds like that's not what you are looking for. Talk with people, be honest about who you are and what you are up to and in my experience the bars and clubs can be a great place to meet people as friends. On a side note I met my partner of seventeen years in a bar.

 

Yeah, what OGS said. I don't have as much experience with the gay club/bar scene, I suspect, but what I do have was almost always fun and never anything like the stereotypes that get thrown around this forum.

Contrary to popular (and uninformed) opinion, the guys in a gay bar are not going to all descend upon you like a pack of lions bringing down a gazelle. Nor are they going to knock you over the head, drag you into a dark corner, and gang rape you.

Will there be guys who will hit on you with just sex on their minds? Quite possibly. Generally a polite decline and/or explanation that you're just feeling like hanging out tonight will make them move on, no harm, no foul. Will you hear a good bit of 'locker room talk'? Maybe, depends on the crowd and the situation. Realize that it is a group of guys and it can be refeshing for some not to have to self edit as so many do around straight people.

Will a particular club or bar not be to your taste? Maybe. In which case, go find another -there are often many different kinds in the larger cities - and see if you like it better. Or come back on a different night.

Will there be a bunch of guys there who are just looking to have fun and talk and maybe dance the evening away with other guys from their 'tribe'? Damn right there will be. Presumably, you will be one of them, based on your post here.

My 2c worth,

Todd

 

Yay for gays in Brisbane. That's pretty much my contribution to this topic. I do have some friends who highly recommend a certain common dating app though.