I think she likes me. I really do. It fluctuates between romance and friendship. Sometimes we're platonic - other times are unbearably romantic. I know she's from an 'extremely touchy family' but still... I have to resist the urge to kiss her when she acts all cute. Her hugs are 'different' for me: she'll hug others briefly but with me she never wants to let go. I go weak in the knees when she talks to me in a hug and her damp lips brush my neck several times in succession. It's almost as if she's lightly kissing me; I can't discern the difference. She herself says that my hugs are the best. When we walk along the road together from school and her arm slides around my back, I can't help but smile. Even better are the rare times she holds my hand to guide me across the road - under the plausible pretense that my hands are warmer than her in winter. But she quickly lets go when we approach a crowd of schoolgirls. I can understand - even I was beginning to get nervous as we walked towards them. To go with our hands intertwined would surely spur on even more rumous about her; rousing them from their malevolent slumber. Rumours about her orientation and how she had a crush on a mutual friend. It was a matter involving her form class - not my business. But when I found out, I went straight to console her. She cried as she told me she wasn't bi - my heart was splitting in two but I still held on to her sobbing body. When I found out the alleged perpetrator, I would have attacked them (they've done some heinous things to me in the past) but she would have cried to the authorities AGAIN and I would be punished. But even a slap would suffice. Our shared jokes and humour are inextricably linked. Even our thoughts are quite similar. We could be carbon copies of each other. I can boldly dare to say that if I'm having these thoughts about her, she's probably having the same about me. Now that I say that, it sounds incredibly narcissistic and arrogant of me. Never mind. That aside, we both delight in anime, books and everything in between. The most fond memories we (I?) have are of less than innocuous blunders. We have been 'married' for the duration of our 'best friendship' (about 2 or 3 years) - this is a common occurance within our school but even so, her friend has given us comments about how suspicious we act around each other - saying we act like a couple and have hidden feelings for each other. She's perceptive, that one. Whilst we were walking to the bus stop in the dark yesterday, we both admitted that we were extremely possessive of one another (in my case perhaps to the point of jealously). She even tried to dodge a question about boyfriends from our other best friend 'the daughter' by saying 'I don't need them, I have you'. When pressed for a reply, she responded that she wasn't sure. That's to be expected of a teenager though. She began telling me that she loved me some time ago, when she became even more 'touchy'. When there isn't any space for me to sit down on the bus she'll make me sit on her lap. I resist because of how it looks but I'd gladly do it if we were alone. This has to be my fondest memory of her: we kissed. It wasn't 'romantic' - we were coming out of school, exiting an alleyway with an influx of girls behind and in front of us walking on the bendy pathway. Before we parted ways, she hugged me and kissed my cheek quickly, repeating 'I do this for (the daughter)'. She then kissed my cheek again in the same style, except closer to my lips. I think I must have turned to tell her 'I don't mind' when our lips met. Once again she repeated her phrase but I was completely stunned. It wasn't a 'proper kiss' - she missed her mark by about a centimetre but it was more arousing than any neck nuzzle. She asked me 'Are you ok?' Due to the shock I could only nod with my mouth slightly open. I think she was disappointed in my reaction because I didn't appear to like it. On the contrary! When she walked away, my hand unconsciously reached for my lips to touch the spot where her lips grazed mine. All that ran through my head was: She kissed me! She kissed me! She kissed me! I went all hot and all I could think of was the sensation of her lips on mine. I tried to keep my hand down but when I wasn't paying attention it would fly back up to my face. That was the best day of my life. Since then my secret wish has been for us to kiss again - properly. That moment sealed my fate. Even though it was a couple of years ago, I hope she remembers. I've left out a few details (especially all the touching she's done) but I hope that from this, we can piece together if she likes me. And sorry! I couldn't resist writing this like a story... I just love doing that.
