Does anyone have this struggle? I am a 50 year old gay man and I came out about 4 years ago. Most of the time I can handle it ok, but other times, like now, I wish I were straight. I feel like I have some estranged relationships in my family (right wing, southern baptists) and it overwhelms me. Today I was close to crying I was so wrapped up in it. if you have dealt with the same issue, how do/did you manage to continue life as you are? Any input/insight is appreciated. Thank you, Russell
I don't wish to be straight anymore, though I sometimes get bogged down in resentment about how much easier life is for straight folks. Do you have a circle of gay friends, or straight allies, who can be more supportive than your religious conservative relatives? Also - is the upcoming holiday season triggering these feelings?
Have the same feelings at times? Try 58 and only out for two years? And trying to fit into an established community. I would love to meet a fellow newbie? Can not afford a paid site, so am stuck with the free ones where most want to hook up for sex. And the bars, well good luck with that scene. My question for us newbies-where do we go? Yes I do have self-esteem issues, I have no idea what to say?? Once I am comfortable, I open right up! ---------- Post added 24th Nov 2014 at 10:36 PM ---------- Holidays are difficult for newbies and probably many others. This is my first Thanksgiving and Christmas alone.
I know how you feel. I struggle with that all the time especially now that I'm getting married. I keep thinking in the back of my head how are people going to react to watching us get married. Then I just keep trying to tell myself that it doesn't matter what other people think and as long as I'm happy and around people who support me that is all that matters at the end of the day.
Hey rsb3012, welcome to EC! Perhaps we can start with what you wrote: "I feel like I have some estranged relationships in my family (right wing, southern baptists) and it overwhelms me." Can you elaborate on that feeling? Is it because they haven't spoken to you in a while, or have they openly expressed their disapproval? Wishing one were something one isn't is understandable. Seeking to find a cause for your distress is also understandable, as is seeking to minimize the pain by eliminating what you think is that cause. But what if being who you are is not it? If you are living as you are, should there not be benefits to being gay as well? You stated also that "Most of the time I can handle it ok", and now you can't...as Piano71 asked above, is there a specific reason at this time, is it the holidays that are accentuating your feeling of isolation? What has changed for you? We're here to help you through this, post often and let us know how you are doing!
