Don't know how to meet guys like me, getting really lonely

Ask your friends, straight, gay, male, female. Campus support groups, but I went to college at Susquehanna, I can understand if there weren't any.

Join groups that interest you.

 

I felt the same as you for some time, but trust me, there's a lot of guys like us

I downloaded a smartphone app for finding gay guys nearby, and although the guys you describe are not the most common type of a gay guy around, they are there I'm chatting with a guy right now, and I still can't believe how I could have found someone like him, he's got like everything I'm looking for, and we are going on a date next week.

So I definitely recommend you to try this as well just be warned that if you go this way, expect to find a lot of guys who will disgust you, but just ignore them.

 

Gay guys come in all shape and sizes. Just because the media has historically portrayed one stereotype, does not mean that stereotype reflects the majority. In fact, I find it to be the opposite. I do, however, think the media is getting better at redefining what gay means at this point.

That said, if statistics are right, there are other guy guys at your school and in whatever small town you live. And most probably do not fit the stereotypical role, although I am sure some do.

Your on the right track regarding apps. And as others have said, you will probably find a lot of duds before you find one or some that fit what you perceive the right type of guy to be. Some apps are also better than others for different personailities and interests. So I would recommend try multiple apps.

Also, I would suggest you to be yourself, honest and non judgemental as you use the sites. Whether someone fits your perceived interest or not, being nice to others will go along way, even if some are clueless idiots back your way.

Finally, I actually am quite fond of the stereotypical flamboyant type of Guy. It is an exact opposite of myself, but I believe opposites attract. Try different people on, like trying on different suits, keep an open mind, and you never know what you might find!

 

Dude, welcome to EC and welcome to MY club. I have the same dilemma. I keep on wondering how I can meet up with "discreet gay" / "straight acting gay" / whatever it is supposed to be called guys. I think I must go for a bright t-shirt with the wording "I am gay" on it ;-)

 

Im also almost twenty and i feel like ill be single for life ... Especially where i come from where every lgbt person is closeted , so finding someone in my case is nearly impossible :/

 

Or, you can seek asylum in the UK......

 

No need for that as im planning on studying my masters degree in france ... Plus isnt seeking asylum for people who feel in danger in their country ? Like , yea in my country its illegal to be a gay man but as long as im not out to lots of people then im fine ._. Even if "living a lie" still bothers me

 

They arrested a Brit tourist last month there.

 

I would suggest not judging a book by it's cover. People will surprise you.
Just because a guy is a little bit more "obviously gay" than you, doesn't mean he's not into sports, working out, bodyboarding, drinking, smoking, etc.

I'll admit those "dating" apps are mostly a big waste of time, but as with anything - don't let one bad experience taint all future endeavours.

Also, just putting this out there. The chances that you're the ONLY LGBT person in your hockey league and/or fan club is very unlikely.

 

Well, I mean if you're looking to date masculine guys, try Growler it's got a better layout than the others and it's far more user friendly than most. It's pretty much only masculine guys looking to date and/or hookup with other masculine guys. The "bear" community, as they call it, which I fall into.

 

Well, let's see here. For starters, you might find this article interesting.

Secondly, if you google 'gay hockey leagues, Pennsylvania', you get a variety of hits, including:

THIS

THIS

&

THIS

As well as this:

THIS

If you just do a google search on 'gay hockey leagues' you can find them listed all over the country. Yes, I know - none of these may be close to where you are right now (or maybe some are), but this should tell you there are other gay hockey players/fans out there. And maybe you could take a vacation to one of these places and meet one of these groups or the like. And you presumably aren't going to live where you are right now forever. You can also do similar searches on other types of sports to see what else might be out there. Flag football and rugby are often popular, along with softball. Not hockey, I know, but something maybe.

On a more general note, you might be interested in Outsports.com, which is sort of Sports Illustrated for LGBT people.

And this group.

Beyond that, I'm going to kind of echo what some others have said here - Just because someone isn't a clone of you, or isn't attractive to you, doesn't mean that they aren't worth getting to know, or at least treating with respect

You're attracted to masculine guys and that's fine. But sometimes opposites attract. And sometimes the more stereotypical guys have masculine friends (who are sufficiently secure in themselves and broad in their interests to be comfortable having friends who they judge by the content of their character not whether or not they are exactly like them) who they might introduce you to.

Finally - A hint: talking about how 'normal' you are in comparison to other gays and how you have nothing in common with them may play fine with some masculine gay guys.

But a fair number of us are going to see it as insulting to either our more fem friends or the concept of treating everyone with respect in general and will pretty much write you off as not worth our time or attention from the get go. So in the interest of not shooting yourself in the foot before you've even started, I'd suggest working on your tact and diplomacy skills if/when you find yourself in a situation where you are meeting another guy like (but not exactly like) yourself.

Hope this helps,

Todd

 

Literally my life. Blazing and drinking to forget what you can never have ha.

 

Online friend making and dating is dangerous and not worth it, I was a victim of a catfish, don't say I'm stupid and that'll never happen to me because i said that and everyone else did, the risks are too high and you are better off just networking by meeting people through other people.

 

online dating is nice to boost your ego, I mean I've gotten half a dozen guys wanting to do me...that's pretty nice... just to hear!

 

The only LGBT group on my campus only meets during times when I have classes.

 

I have to disagree, the date I mentioned had already happened and the guy is great. You just have to be careful who you date, but weird and dangerous people can be usually easily identified even on over the internet - this guy has genuine interest in me, we share similar hobbies and we had a great time ONLY TALKING on the first date.

On the other hand I had guys message me who seemed nice at first but after 5 messages it was obvious they just aren't worth it. When you try to develop a conversation and all you get in return is "yeah, that's cool, you're cute" or "that's sexy", you know that's not the guy for you. Unless you indeed are only looking for sex.

So, I definitely agree with you that you should be careful while finding dates over the internet, but I disagree that is only dangerous and not worth it.

 

Try Find your people - Meetup. Search for gay sports groups. You might find gay men in your area who like to play sports or even a group that meets at a public place to watch games.

 

Yeah you ego is fed compliments but don't pursue those relationships....

---------- Post added 8th Dec 2014 at 05:31 PM ----------

Well you were lucky that's all. Meeting someone in real life tells you much more than what you can get from letters on a computer screen, their tone of voice, pauses, body language, posture, timing mood all count.

 

lol