Age difference...

So I'm a senior in high school. age 17, and my girlfriend is a freshman, age 14. Is this age difference too big? Especially since we're in high school. I like her a lot but I don't know if I can get over how young she is. When I look at her or hear her talk, I see/hear things I did/said myself as a 14 year old. It's sort of freaking me out...
I like her a lot so, should I just get over it?

---------- Post added 25th Nov 2014 at 11:08 AM ----------

Also, she said her parents are accepting but, I'm the one who inspired her to come out of the closet so I feel like her parents hate me right off the bat...

 

If you think about it a 3-year age gap doesn't sound too big of an age difference. As long as you don't violate your country's age of consent laws you're fine As for her parents... I can't exactly help there. You feel like they hate you but it might be possible that you're over-speculating their feelings towards you. Just look on the bright side. You're in a relationship with someone you like a lot. Have fun and don't worry!

 

I don't plan on having a sexual relationship with her for a WHILE. The age of consent in my state is 16. I am perfectly fine not having sexual relations with her. I just worry about the difference in maturity.

 

i don't think it's a big deal right now. when you're 19/20 and she's 16/17, you might get some negative feedback. but while you're in high school it's not a problem. i wouldn't worry about it, who's to say you'll even be together in 4 years anyway?

 

The age difference isnt too big of a deal in general. But if it is bothering you as much as it sounds like then maybe it isnt a good idea. If youre only worried about it because it might seem odd to others than youre fine. A lot of relationships happen in highschool all over the grades so no one will really stress it. As for the parents, Its not like you changed her orientation, you just encouraged her to be open about it. Hopefull they will be accepting like she says and it will go well.
I hope everything works out, its highschool so you should just try to make the most of it and not stress, you have the rest of your life to worry about stress
Good luck

 

As people get older, I think age differences become less of an issue. In someone's teens, a three year difference may have quite a maturity gap between the two of you. As other said, be mindful of consent laws, and it sounds like you are and that's not an issue.

 

If my 14 year-old daughter were to go out with a 17 year old boy, I would definitely have a problem with this (Yes, I'm her dad so yes, there is definitely a bias here).

The maturity gap, not the age gap, is the problem. There is even a world of difference between 14 and 15! That's just the way it is during the teens, very rapid changes in outlook, etc.

You yourself noticed that she says and does things you no longer do, so think carefully about this.

 

I personally believe age-difference doesnt matter (providing its not overly large)

 

I'm in a similar situation, though the girl I'd like to date is a sophomore while I'm a senior. She's 15 and I'll be 18 early next month. Everything is okay legally, but I'm still worried we'd get backlash, especially if her parents ever found out. But I know what you mean when you say that it freaks you out. Sometimes I think of myself as a sophomore and realize how different I was then, and how much growing she has to do. But the thing is, I still love her company and she feels the same. Honestly, I don't think it's a huge issue.

 

I have a problem kind of like that too. I'm a 15 year old sophomore dating a pansexual senior who just turned 18. It's a little weird when we tell people but he loves me and I love him regardless of what other people think.

 

I decided to stay with her because the more I hang out with her and talk to her and get closer to her, the more I feel like I need her in my life. We have so much in common and we have the same hopes and dreams. I met her parents who are totally okay with the relationship after meeting me and seeing what a nice girl I am. But my parents won't let me see her so, I'm doing it behind their back. I feel very shady but, they need to start to let me make my own decisions since I am almost an adult.

 

I want to bring up the important warning to young people, especially in high school.

IF YOU ARE UNDER 18, DON'T TRADE NAKED PICTURES OF YOURSELF

The person you give them to can get in trouble, and then you can get in trouble, WITH THE LAW.

 

im 16 and I was dating a 20 year old and yeah she got some rude comments but then people sort of got over it so age doesn't matter, so hell go with it

 

I'm not planning on trying to have sex with her until she's at least 16 anyways. Neither one of us are emotionally ready for sex (plus it would be illegal.)

 

Define "overly large".
Saying something doesn't matter only to put a limitation on it is a bit contradictory.

 

I don't think age matters if both parties are legally consenting adults.

However, when it comes to places like school, there can be problems. Age difference can mean a lot. If you're 14, but the person you're dating is 17-18, you start running into problems like differences in maturity, levels of autonomy, legal freedoms, parents, to name a few. You also have to watch out so that you don't do anything too touchy-ish, as that could violate laws. Then there's always the scary thought that someone who's older than you could pressure or force you into doing things that you would rather not do.

But I digress back to the thread. It sounds like you are a very thoughtful person. You'll obviously encounter a few strange looks, at best. But I'm sure you two can weather that with ease. I hope everything works out!

 

Yeah, I kind of have to agree with Chip. And I know that makes me sounds like a huge hypocrite because my boyfriend and I have a pretty big age gap (i'm the younger partner). But it's not so much the age difference as it is the developmental difference. Once you're in your mid-20s, dating someone who's 10 years older than you is kind of a non-issue. But consider this. You'll be a legal adult in a year. She won't even be able to drive for another two.

Now, maybe she's mature for her age. Maybe she can handle the relationship maturely. But it sounds like you're a little concerned about even that.

 

It's not that big of a gap, but I was the younger party in that type of relationship once. I was very immature about the whole deal.

But, there's a strong chance she would be better than I was. Just be careful.

 

if it is just a friendly and platonic relationship, kind of like you were an older sibling looking after her, that wouldn't be a problem for me. but if you have any feelings that could even lead to kissing, look for a different friend. she is too vulnerable to someone three years older than her at 14. ten years from now, that wouldn't be any difference at all. look into your heart and examine your motives very carefully, and you top priority must be to protect her from any harm