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Is he playing games?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Nubian85, Nov 26, 2014.

  1. Nubian85

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    So there is this guy that I met online. We've been talking on the phone several times a day for about 3weeks now, almost a month. He seems like a really great guy as I am interested in him and he says he's interested in me. The issue I am having is that we haven't met yet. He keeps saying that he will come by, or he'll say after work I can come to his place and we can have dinner, talk, however, this never happens as he always stands me up. I am trying to be patient however, my patience is wearing thin. I am a great guy, a very very sexy guy and I just don't get what the issue is. I wonder, could he be a catfish? He is 100% gay and single. Could he just not be interested in me? Or is he playing games (saying the right things but not actually doing them). As I said I know he has to be interested in me as well I mean why would he talk to me on the phone several times a day and not be?

    Should I continue to even give this man the time of day? Should I call him out on it? Or should I just brush it off the next time he says he wants to meet (because I know he will).
    Please help...Thanks!:thumbsup:
     
  2. elliot96

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    Totally call him out. If it's not the first time he's stood you up then give him a call and tell him that you either meet up at a particular time and place or you're just going to not even consider taking this seriously. Tell him all about how you feel, but make sure you let him know that you're not scared to walk out.
     
  3. mangotree

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    Have you considered having a video chat (e.g. skype) with him?
    It might help him to feel more comfortable with meeting you, and you'll get to see that he's a real person as well.
    He might be nervous and wants to make sure you are who you say you are as well.
     
  4. Skov

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    I agree with mangotree. I would also highly suggest meeting somewhere public when you meet for the first time such as a restaurant or coffee shop. Don't go to his house or have him come to your house if you haven't met him before.
     
  5. I am Kakashi

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    I'd definitely call him out. Tell him straight up (pardon the pun?) that you are beginning to feel like he is not taking this seriously. And it may be ultimatum time. "If you cannot make time to meet with me in the next week, I am no longer interested. You obviously do not have time for a boyfriend right now" etc :slight_smile:
     
  6. robclem21

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    Great advice so far. It seems to me that he is maybe more uncomfortable with meeting because of his own personal issues rather than because he is not interested in you. Instead of bringing it up in a confrontational manner, maybe talk over skype first, or suggest quick meetings in line with what others have said. Maybe he just needs to be eased into a real-world setting.

    I don't think this is uncommon for online relationships, especially in the gay community. Do you know why he may be scared to meet? Is he in the closet? Does he have anxiety issues? These questions may give you more insight into why you haven't hung out yet.
     
  7. OnTheHighway

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    The unfortunate reality is that thee are a lot of time wasters out there. It might not be their fault: maybe they lack confidence, experience or are in a situation where being discrete is a concern. It sucks for the person on the receiving end because it has the tendency to diminish any enthusiasm for the person, but it is the reality amongst the gay community from my experience.