1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

How do you know if there's sexual chemistry?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by patternsofpetal, Nov 30, 2014.

  1. patternsofpetal

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2014
    Messages:
    15
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    So, there's been someone in my life for a while now that I can't forget. I met this woman in a larger group at different events organized by our uni, she's an organizer, and I'm a member of a club that sometimes attends their events. I found her an interesting person, but I didn't feel anything for her, or talk to her one on one, only when we were discussing something with the group, at these occasional meetings. We didn't talk much, but after we met a few times in these sessions, out of the sudden, I started to feel this very intense sexual chemistry, like something was pulling me towards her, almost agressively, like never before in my life, but it was only physical. I was thrilled, and when we talked, again, in the group, I even held the eye contact a few times, when we agreed on something, and it felt so nice. She held the eye contact, too, I guess..later someone told me she's gay. (I'm not out.)

    Then, I don't know why, this whole thing took a different level in me: I guess I started to develop emotions towards her that go beyond this physical attraction, I'm basically in love. :/ As I mentioned, I only know her from her interactions with others, we only talked a few times, and always with other people around. So, when this got more serious in me, I started to avoid eye contact, because I got too shy. I was still very kind, and one time, when she was sitting close to me, as we were listening to an interview, I got so intimidated, as again I started to feel like we have extreme sexual tension, and I couldn't stop thinking about whether she feels this too, or if it's only one-sided. I know that it could be a one-sided thing, on the other hand, sometimes it's just so strong... I keep getting mixed signals.


    Once I was reading something to the group about a next project, and when I looked up, I caught her looking at me and smiling... I don't know what it was in her eyes, but it was very soft and warm, and I felt like I was melting again. The next time, organisers reviewed members' performance, she was very enthusiastic about my take on the new project, and said she liked it in front of the group.

    Then at another meeting a few weeks later, she even forgot I was there or something, although I was basically in front of her: she asked others if I was coming, as she was checking the list. And I was like: I'm here... Of course, we don't really know each other, but it was just weird that I just walked in, and she doesn't notice I'm there or doesn't know my name (?).(before she knew it)

    I saw her at another event, I was sitting with a group of friends, and she was with some other organisers I don't know. They basically stood right at our table, which freaked me out. I assume she saw me because, she was again facing me when they were approaching our table, then they stood almost next to it, and she changed positions with someone, so from then on, it was only her back that I saw.... her friends kept coming to our table for napkins, while she was just ignoring me all along, and never looked behind her... My friends decided to go to the toilet, so I was left alone for a while, and I started a phone conversation just to calm myself down a bit, as the situation was getting weird again. I mean I would have tried to look up and say hello, but I was a nervous wreck, plus, I think she was avoiding me again. :frowning2:

    It always feels like we have the same take on so many things, but then it's almost ridiculous how we avoid personal contact, and I notice that, and wonder if she does too...

    I randomly met her in the street the other day, she was walking towards me, and I was prepared to say hello, but we were too distant so I just kept walking, looking at the pavement... but out of the sudden, when I looked up to finally greet her, she took a totally different direction, and basically walked through a bicycle rack so she didn't need to cross paths with me. Is she ignoring me, because she somehow feels I'm attracted to her, and that creeps her out or she feels the energy, too and acts weird because of that? I mean how could I develop such strong feelings for someone, if they don't feel anything? Am I misinterpreting her acts? How do you know if chemistry is mutual? I only have experience with men... with them, it's just so much more obvious.