[How many times am I going to make this thread before I hit the 'Back' button? I'm such a scaredy cat...] Uhm, hello! 'Tis a nice evening, yes. And the weather's a little chilly, but it's fine for now. Oh, I should probably get to the point ... I'm going to try and keep this short and straightforward. I have disgustingly bad trust issues and I was coping with it until now. Today, I realized ignoring the problem isn't helping. I've come to the point where I don't want help, because I'm too scared; I've hidden myself deep inside, from everyone, and I'm just sitting there, drowning in my own fear. Shit, too poetic? I'm too afraid to make friends, I'm too scared to find love, and to be honest, it's gotten so hard to trust anyone, that I'm starting to find friendships and relationships out of the question. I can't. I just can't trust anyone anymore. I'm too scared. I want to be able to love, but my fear destroys it all. I can't fucking feel anything anymore, I can't fall in love, I just can't, because my fear puts an end to any relationship before it's even begun. The same goes for friendships. And each time I try to trust people, my trust gets betrayed one way or another, and my fear grows stronger. I don't even want to think of the future, and of being close to someone ... Well, I'm fucked. Anyway, my real question is, are there people out there like me? With this ... let's call it a trust-o-phobia. And how do you cope with that, if you can? If you can't, how and in what do you find comfort? Any personal stories about how you got the trust-o-phobia, how it got worse and if/how it got better are very welcome. Go ahead, share your experience, so we can all learn something from each other!
Cuppycake, asking how to deal with it is a good start, but a bigger question I have for you - have you considered why you developed the trust issues to begin with?
It's okay to not trust people. Most will betray you at some point in life, whether willingly or not. The best you can do, to "manage" the situation is, to allow yourself to make friends, to "trust" people... But always keep one thing in mind, that they WILL betray you, sooner or later. Keep that idea into your head, anticipate the betrayal, and when/if it happens, it won't hurt as much (or at all, depending on how good you get at this). Be critical of people, raise your standards, and only... only when someone has proven to you, that they can be trusted... Only then, should you trust them. P.S. - Sorry for not writing, kind of not possible at this time.
